I'll start this week . .

[Rowana]

I\'ll start this week . .

It's Friday . . . .


A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the kerb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said: "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me. "

The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied: "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all."

"Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years"

/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Riggy]

Re: I\'ll start this week . .

I'll carry on then.....

Blonde

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said 'to achieve best results, put on two coats'.........

 

[Riggy]

Re: I\'ll start this week . .

And on..........and just to show I have no bias against blonde women.....

/forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[Riggy]

Re: I\'ll start this week . .

Should have been this......

Blonde Guy

A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What's up?" he says.

"I'm having a heart attack!" cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

"You jerk!," says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"

 

[Otto]

Re: I\'ll start this week . .

Two families moved from Afghanistan to America. When they arrived, the two fathers made a bet -- in a year's time whichever family had become more Americanized would win.

A year later they meet.

The first man said, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonald's for
breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"

The second man replied, "F**k you, towel head."

 

[Sans Bateau]

Re: I\'ll start this week . .

True blonde day story!

when SWMBO worked airside at Gatwick, she had to go through security every day to be searched / have the car searched. The start of a bad day was always when she would arrive at the security 'office' to find a crew bus in front of her with a full compliment of 'flight attendants'.

One day she was in a particular hurry, with 3 or 4 pretty blonde stewardess in front of her at the exit door, they just stood there, looking puzzeled, Anne pushed to the front and slid open the MANUAL sliding door, they giggled, "I was waiting for it to open on its own, I'm being a real blonde arn't I?" one chattered!

No comment!

 

[Otto]

Re: I\'ll start this week . .