I got shelled by a boatyard in Maldon last week...

[Guest]

and the wife was hoovering 4 inch maggots from the topsides of a barge. Then the blokes form the boatyard, the wife and myself walked down to the pub together as happy as Larry.

The moral of this story ?

Do not go to bed after shifting about half a pound of mature Cheddar Cheese whilst on a cruise.

Why does it all seem so normal at the time ?