DavidJ
Well-known member
I don\'t usually do jokes but....
TO OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS:
>Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new
>"Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to
>withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to
>make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive
>behavioural studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use.
>Please read the procedures that apply to you and remember them for when
>you
>use our new machines for the first time.
>PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:
>1. Drive up to the cash machine.
>2. Wind down your car window.
>3. Insert card into and enter PIN.
>4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
>5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
>6. Wind up window.
>7. Drive off.
> > > >
>PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
>1. Drive up to cash machine.
>2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.
>3. Re-start the stalled engine.
>4. Wind down the window.
>5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
> 6. Turn the radio down.
> 7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> 8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its
>excessive distance from the car.
> 9. Insert card.
> 10. After "Invalid Card" is displayed - Remove the afore mentioned
> "marks & Spencer' card and insert correct Cash Point card
>11. Remove Cash Point Card
> 12. Re-insert Cash Point card the right way up.
> 13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
>back
>page.
>14. Enter PIN.
> 15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
> 16. Enter amount of cash required.
> 17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
>18. Retrieve cash and receipt.
>19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
> 20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
> 21. Re-check make-up.
> 22. Drive forward 2 meters.
> 23. Reverse back to cash machine.
> 24. Retrieve card.
> 25. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
>provided.
> 26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> 27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> 28. Release handbrake.
TO OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS:
>Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new
>"Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to
>withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to
>make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive
>behavioural studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use.
>Please read the procedures that apply to you and remember them for when
>you
>use our new machines for the first time.
>PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:
>1. Drive up to the cash machine.
>2. Wind down your car window.
>3. Insert card into and enter PIN.
>4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
>5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
>6. Wind up window.
>7. Drive off.
> > > >
>PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
>1. Drive up to cash machine.
>2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.
>3. Re-start the stalled engine.
>4. Wind down the window.
>5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
> 6. Turn the radio down.
> 7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> 8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its
>excessive distance from the car.
> 9. Insert card.
> 10. After "Invalid Card" is displayed - Remove the afore mentioned
> "marks & Spencer' card and insert correct Cash Point card
>11. Remove Cash Point Card
> 12. Re-insert Cash Point card the right way up.
> 13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
>back
>page.
>14. Enter PIN.
> 15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
> 16. Enter amount of cash required.
> 17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
>18. Retrieve cash and receipt.
>19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
> 20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
> 21. Re-check make-up.
> 22. Drive forward 2 meters.
> 23. Reverse back to cash machine.
> 24. Retrieve card.
> 25. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
>provided.
> 26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> 27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> 28. Release handbrake.
