Hurrican Disaster in Essex - NB

AlexL

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A major Cat 3 Hurricane (Shazza) hit in the
early hours of Monday. Epicentre: Basildon, Essex. Victims were seen
wandering around aimless muttering "faaackin ell" ...

The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish
Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars
were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived.

Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were
confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Basildon.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was
such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all. I

was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as
normal.The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large
quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from
Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from
Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought

after, items most needed include:

* Fila or Burberry baseball caps
* Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
* Shell suits (female)
* White sport socks
* Rockport boots
* Any other items usually sold in Primark.


Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required

foodstuffs include:
* Microwave meals
* Tins of baked beans
* Ice cream
* Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.


22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those
affected.


**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in claret - 'Where are
you bleeding from?' they asked - "ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss that got to
do wiv it?"



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The really scary part is that this could be describing most of the major conurbations in the U.K, makes Italy, Spain look attractive option, avoiding the tourist(brit) areas of course.

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Funny you should mention Canvey....I onced pulled a bird from the Epping Forest Country Club.......in me motor we got entangled and she slobbered in me ear that she wanted me to kiss were it smells........so I drove her down to Canvey!

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Reminds me of the difference between Essex girls and Surrey girls. Essex girls have fake jewelery and real orgasms.....

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LOL......Having onced lived in Godalming....and now in Romford and sampled both counties.......you are Bang on there m8 :-)

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Ah, picturesque memories of Essex! How I remember my time as a Discotheque Manager in Saafend, actually I loved it, Essex girls an' all. A favourite time.

<hr width=100% size=1>John
http://www.on-line-marine.com
 
Aaaah yes the sticky pavements outside the bars an Mc Donalds......that pungent sea air (like a sewage farm) at low tide........the noise of arcade machines spurting out coins from the odd concealed shove! and the alcohol swilling yobs at closing time kicking and punching the odd parked car........God it's such a lovely place ain't it!

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Well I wasn't on the seafront, perhaps that makes a difference. Despite the jokes I liked the "upfront" and "go getting" attitude of the people, they had London weighted salaries to spend and a determination to have fun. As a discotheque manager you cannot ask for much more.

(This was 1973/4, haven't been back for years).

<hr width=100% size=1>John
http://www.on-line-marine.com
 
Well john the area is really still ok......it's just this poxy age of political correctness...meaning kids today not being checked like we were, are now spoiling things a bit!

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