Hunour - Signs of being well over 25

BarryD

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1. You leave gigs before the encore to "beat the rush".

2.You get more excited about having a roast on a Sunday than going clubbing.

3. You stop dreaming of becoming a professional footballer and start dreaming of having a son who might instead.

4. Before throwing the local paper away, you look through the property section.

5. You prefer Later with Jools Holland to Top of the Pops.

6. All of a sudden, Tony Blair is not 47, he's only 47.

7. Before going out anywhere, you ask what the parking is like.

8. Rather than throw a knackered pair of trainers out, you keep them because they'll be all right for the garden.

9. You buy your first ever T-shirt without anything written on it.

10. Instead of laughing at the innovations catalogue that falls out of the newspaper, you suddenly see both the benefit and money saving properties of a plastic winter cover for your garden bench and an electronic mole repellent for the lawn. Not to mention the plastic man for the car to deter would-be thieves.

11. You start to worry about your parents' health.

12. You complain that ecstasy's "not as pure as it used to be coz you know that if you have some it will take about 48 hours to recover and anyway, you might look a bit of an idiot.

13. Sure, you have more disposable income, but everything you want to buy costs between 1000 and 1500 quid.

14. You don't get funny looks when you buy a Disney video or a Wallace and Gromit bubble bath, as the sales assistant assumes they are for your child.

15. Pop music all starts to sound crap.

16. You opt for Pizza Express over Pizza Hut because they don't have any pictures on the menus and anyway, they do a really nice half-bottle of house white.

17. You become powerless to resist the lure of self-assembly furniture.

18. You always have enough milk in.

19. To compensate for the fact that you have little desire to go clubbing, you instead frequent really loud tapas restaurants and franchise pubs with wacky names in the mistaken belief that you have not turned into your parents.

20. While flicking through the TV channels, you happen upon C4's Time Team with Tony Robinson. You get drawn in.

21. The benefits of a pension scheme become clear.

22. You go out of your way to pick up a colour chart from B&Q.

23. You wish you had a shed.

24. You have acquired a shed.

25. You actually find yourself saying "They don't make 'em like that anymore" and "I remember when there were only 3 TV channels" and "Of course,in my day...."

26. Radio 2 play more songs you know than Radio 1 - and Jimmy Young has some really interesting guests on.

27. Instead of tutting at old people who take ages to get off the bus, you tut at schoolchildren whose diction is poor.

28. When sitting outside a pub you become envious of their hanging baskets.

29. You make an effort to be in and out of the curry house by 11.

30. You come face to face with your own mortality for the first time,and the indestructibility of the 20s gives way to a realisation that you are but passing through this life and if you don't settle down soon and have kids you'll have no-one to look after you when you're old and frail and incontinent and you can't go on p**sing your life up against a wall forever and think of how many brain cells you're destroying every time a swift half turns into 10 pints, and look at that, a full set of stainless steel saucepans for 99 quid, they cost as much as 35 each if you buy them separately, and you get a milk pan thrown in, ...

31. You find yourself saying "is it cold in here or is it just me?"


Barry D.

IMHO & FWIW, NWGOI.
 

Robin2

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Its my Birthday today and I can relate to this

Finally I am middle-aged.

I can relate to too many of these signs but I have found the answer - build a boat and move in .... so

- I have no interest in the property section
- I have nowhere to keep the knackered trainers
- I don't need mole repellant
- I have no desire for self assembly furniture
- I don't need a shed (I did that years ago)
- There are many very attractive hanging baskets in Malahide (oops)
- I have no room for a full set of saucepans (what would I do with them anyway?)
- I have installed a heater
 

BarryD

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No Warrenty Given or Implied <G>

As for you not being 25 (Ha) - I'm using the denary system of counting, you know the one centred upon base 10? I presume that you are using something around base 15 or 16... or maybe higher

Reaches for hard hat and takes cover...

Barry D.

IMHO & FWIW, NWGOI.
 

PGD

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Why is it the older you get the body start to fail but the mind continues to regress to that of adolescence.

Also when you go to Ikea you can’t leave the shop with spending over £100.

You start saying to SWMBO about teenagers – what on earth does he/she look like.

You must go to B&Q Depot or Wickes cos it’s cheaper.

Forget the shed – you bought a green house and petrol strimmer.

And now just erected a summer house and pond filter beat Madona every time.

The old shirt that’s worn out, where now would be a trendy ripped garment – get relegated from garden duty to rags in the garage.

Happy aging

Peter

PS Birthday Sunday 25 + a few years.
 

jfm

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Non-integer base maths

Reasonably close, base 15.2 axshully (he says, wishing to make clear it's at the lower end of your estimated range) :)
 

BarryD

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\'Ang on JFM

Using your figures I do not come up with the same number that matchs the candles on your cake from last month... nearer 16 than 15 methinks <G>

Barry D.

IMHO & FWIW, NWGOI.
 
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