How to retrieve a chicken from a deep bilge?

BruceDanforth

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Half a chicken to be precise which would have been my lunch.

It was sat on the top of the stove having been roasted last night.

The sole boards were up as I'm working on the electrics and unfortunately a police boat came past.

It is about 6 feet down.

Any ideas?
 

NOHOH

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Have you got a pair of 6 ft long chopsticks?....or boathooks?......or a fishing net on the end of a 6ft long pole...........or a hungry cat you could lower on a rope?
 

BelleSerene

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Half a chicken to be precise which would have been my lunch.

It was sat on the top of the stove having been roasted last night.

The sole boards were up as I'm working on the electrics and unfortunately a police boat came past.

It is about 6 feet down.

Any ideas?

Tough one! When I read the thread title, I thought: float it out. But your chicken's dead.

At least it's cooked however. Which buys you more time before things get very smelly.

That's good, because it must be important to get it out in one piece. The more you hack at the carcass, the harder it will be to get the last bits and the more you'll be left with eternally smelly rotten flesh in the bilge.

So three ideas.

One: take your time, don't be tempted to hack which'll only leave ungrabbable bits of rotting flesh in the bilge, and contrive some long picking-up device (how about a harpoon?) to do the job in one.​

Two: suspend a brave and willing child by the feet with security from ropes. He'll love the mission and you won't leave bits of chicken behind.​

Three: um... Seriously, float it out. If you do it soon, especially as the animal's cooked, you guarantee leaving no hacked bits of flesh behind.

Have fun. Will you let us know?!
 

prv

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I used to use a park-keeper's litter-grabbing stick to retrieve things from Kindred Spirit's bilge. Also helped a high-sided neighbour in Cherbourg who had dropped a bucket overboard and broken the handle off, hence nothing to catch with a boathook.

A stick and arm combined are unlikely to reach six feet, but when working on the gearbox coupling I used to put a harness on backwards with one of the backstay tackles clipped to the ring behind me, and lower myself headfirst down the access hatch - you could combine the two techniques. Probably better with someone else on board though, else you might end up going the same way as the chicken :D

Pete
 

jwilson

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Even if it doesn't float filling the bilge with water will reduce the lifting force via a long preferably barbed spike to very little, reducing the chance of it coming apart.......
 

BruceDanforth

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I managed to recover it with a child's fishing net in the end.

Marinading it in bilge water doesn't seem to have made it very appetising so without any curry powder available I have reluctantly given it to the fish.
 

pmagowan

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The old rhyme suggests it should be a cat followed by a dog followed by a cow! You could probably reach the cow without sending anything else down.
 

laika

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Chuck a fox down.

Also my first thought but where do you go if you lose the fox? I'm not convinced by pmagowan's "cow" hypothesis. There is no bovine affinity for vulpine SAR. Crocodile might work for the lost fox. Long enough tail to rivet to the cabin table or something.

This isn't a google interview question is it?
 

pmagowan

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I've got it; Helium! Put a life jacket on the fox but change the CO2 for helium and when the job is done the fox can simply float up and out the hatch. A bow and arrow can be used to release the fox or you can just leave him to become the first high altitude fox hunting geese in their own environment.
 

laika

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I've got it; Helium! Put a life jacket on the fox but change the CO2 for helium and when the job is done the fox can simply float up and out the hatch. A bow and arrow can be used to release the fox or you can just leave him to become the first high altitude fox hunting geese in their own environment.

I doubted the cow thing but this is convincing.
 

BelleSerene

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I've got it; Helium! Put a life jacket on the fox but change the CO2 for helium and when the job is done the fox can simply float up and out the hatch. A bow and arrow can be used to release the fox or you can just leave him to become the first high altitude fox hunting geese in their own environment.

Nah. Three problems. First, the fox never gets to high altitude as the deck head stops it first.

Second, if the fox was determined enough upon getting airborne not to drop your chicken lunch right back into the bilge, you're in for a mid-saloon tussle over it with the jaws of a ceiling-mounted scared predator.

Third, applying the bow and arrow to the fox now stuck to the ceiling will result in a larger animal in the bilge than you started with.
 
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laika

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We should probably check whether BruceDanforth's boat is big enough for a fox, a chicken, a bag of grain and him. Frequently there's not enough space for everything.
 
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