tcm
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The ybw rules for posting are all very well, but they aren’t specific enough. So, here are guidance notes for a happy and trouble-free time on these forums.
1. The forums are uk based. This means that of course everything british has a slight advantage of being better, somehow, even if it’s the same thing. So, a 10mm nut bought in the US might be exactly the same as one bought in the UK. But if the british one fails, it’s a just one-off, possibly a problem with the precise application, material and and so on. Whereas if the American (or french, italian etc) one failed it was bound to happen because it’s mickey mouse junk. Unlike lots of tendencies abroad, this is most certianly NOT a matter of nationalistic jingoism, for goodness sake. Well, yes it is, but anyway.
2 It follows from rule 1 that UK cruising grounds are the best in the world. Specifically, the precise spot where each contributor is based is the best “taking everything into account” especially including er, that’s where their boat is, innit.
So the solent, west country, north wales, east coast, scotland are all marvellous. Sure, the med and the caribean are alright for a week or two if you absolutely insist on sunshine, reliable climate, lower costs, low crime and lots of shoreside facilities, tsk. But it’s not the UK is it? Hence, it’s not really as good. Don’t bother suggesting that perhaps somewhere in New Zealand or Australia or Asia or any other continent is great, cos nobody’s interested.
3 Also from rule 1, you hould behave as though the entire boating uiniverse is proscribed by the contents of about six UK boating mags as stocked in WH Smith. Also, all boats in the world are those available at the london and/or southampton Boat show. Don't bother talking about weird stuff from Dusseldorf or For Lauderdale which might well have 20 or more times the number of exhibitors and products, because that's just minor league junk which probably can't hack it in the MUCH more demanding uk market, probably.
4 YOU and everyone else is the best skipper in the world, once you’ve had a couple of seasons afloat. So it’s best not to question anyone else’s judgement.
5 If you’re a skipper you’re “Master under God” which is pretty high up, no question. So you can contribute towards most threads about skippering without fear. After all, hardly any threads are ever “decided” one way or another, unless a real Judge gets involved which they never do.
6 A poster’s knowledge of all martime matters is in direction proportion to the number of sea miles travelled. So, if you circumnavigate, well then you’ll know all the collision regulations and buoyage and stuff far more certainly than someone who’s cheatily read a book and memorised the information, obviously. If you feel an argument slipping away, preface your post with details of your mileage.
7 There’s no substitute for experience. Especially if you haven't read many books as above. Experience is gained by going to the same boat and the same places for years. If nothing goes wrong, you’re a faultless expert. Whereas if someone went on lots of different boats in lots different places in wildly varying weather and lots of stuff went wrong all the time, they're nitwits, and you can remind of these cockups frequently.
8 “Professionals” must always be deferred to. Yes, it’s true that you can get a professional nautical qualification from zero in 4months, but you’re an amateur unless you earn your very living from the marine industry. Professionals can pass full and final judgement on the quality of all boats, components, cruising grounds, everything. Their maritime expertise is carefully honed from years of rarely if ever having to pay for any part of a boat with their own money, and having a close relationship with a mop and hosepipe, or with a cash register, or working near the coast where they absorb boating knowledge in a way that people in an ordinary office cannot hope to do.
9 Whatever boat anyone owns, it’s pretty much the best in the world taking everything into account because well, they chose it, see? This is important. So bavarias are great, and so are beneteaus. Also sunseeker, fairline, westerly, ferretti, broom, jeanneau, bayliner, hardy, finlandia, feeling, twister, halberg-rassy, albin vega, and everything else, including especially yours, of course. Don’t criticise any brand, ever, cos otherwise someone who owns one will chime in that *they’ve* bought one , see, and they like it, and it floats too, and hence you’re just being a horrid know-nowt. Now, it's possible that being the owner of just one unit of one model from a manufacturer – or even being the manufacturer - doesn’t make them an expert in all other boats, does it? Oh look just shut up, willyer?
10 You ARE allowed to moan or complain or critcise any brand of boat component. In fact, this is positively encouraged, and depite all the boats being very wisely chosen you’ll notice a never-ending stream of posts about busted stuff which doesn’t happen anywhere near as much with any other consumer goods. Everthing goes wrong or rusts to bits or falls apart but it's just a one-off problem, see, and the boat is superb, aside from the constituents parts which is QUITE a different matter entirely.
10. Politics. Under no circumstances discuss Irish politics. All other politics is fine, but the general rule is that the UK is okay – but it isn’t as good as it used to be. Before 1970, politics was all fine and nice and pretty much al much of a muchness, and the only twit was Neville Chamberlain. After 1970, well, it’s all gone a bit downhill. Politicians these days are about as bad as yacht brokers, provided that you don’t mention the actual name of one (politician or yacht broker).
12 Religion: as ever, best not bother with it, and limit yourself to only fleeting remarks about islamic terrorism from a dispassionate viewpoint. After all, you didn’t vote for the Iraq war did you? No. Actually, nobody voted for world war 1 or 2 either, so what the heck.
1. The forums are uk based. This means that of course everything british has a slight advantage of being better, somehow, even if it’s the same thing. So, a 10mm nut bought in the US might be exactly the same as one bought in the UK. But if the british one fails, it’s a just one-off, possibly a problem with the precise application, material and and so on. Whereas if the American (or french, italian etc) one failed it was bound to happen because it’s mickey mouse junk. Unlike lots of tendencies abroad, this is most certianly NOT a matter of nationalistic jingoism, for goodness sake. Well, yes it is, but anyway.
2 It follows from rule 1 that UK cruising grounds are the best in the world. Specifically, the precise spot where each contributor is based is the best “taking everything into account” especially including er, that’s where their boat is, innit.
So the solent, west country, north wales, east coast, scotland are all marvellous. Sure, the med and the caribean are alright for a week or two if you absolutely insist on sunshine, reliable climate, lower costs, low crime and lots of shoreside facilities, tsk. But it’s not the UK is it? Hence, it’s not really as good. Don’t bother suggesting that perhaps somewhere in New Zealand or Australia or Asia or any other continent is great, cos nobody’s interested.
3 Also from rule 1, you hould behave as though the entire boating uiniverse is proscribed by the contents of about six UK boating mags as stocked in WH Smith. Also, all boats in the world are those available at the london and/or southampton Boat show. Don't bother talking about weird stuff from Dusseldorf or For Lauderdale which might well have 20 or more times the number of exhibitors and products, because that's just minor league junk which probably can't hack it in the MUCH more demanding uk market, probably.
4 YOU and everyone else is the best skipper in the world, once you’ve had a couple of seasons afloat. So it’s best not to question anyone else’s judgement.
5 If you’re a skipper you’re “Master under God” which is pretty high up, no question. So you can contribute towards most threads about skippering without fear. After all, hardly any threads are ever “decided” one way or another, unless a real Judge gets involved which they never do.
6 A poster’s knowledge of all martime matters is in direction proportion to the number of sea miles travelled. So, if you circumnavigate, well then you’ll know all the collision regulations and buoyage and stuff far more certainly than someone who’s cheatily read a book and memorised the information, obviously. If you feel an argument slipping away, preface your post with details of your mileage.
7 There’s no substitute for experience. Especially if you haven't read many books as above. Experience is gained by going to the same boat and the same places for years. If nothing goes wrong, you’re a faultless expert. Whereas if someone went on lots of different boats in lots different places in wildly varying weather and lots of stuff went wrong all the time, they're nitwits, and you can remind of these cockups frequently.
8 “Professionals” must always be deferred to. Yes, it’s true that you can get a professional nautical qualification from zero in 4months, but you’re an amateur unless you earn your very living from the marine industry. Professionals can pass full and final judgement on the quality of all boats, components, cruising grounds, everything. Their maritime expertise is carefully honed from years of rarely if ever having to pay for any part of a boat with their own money, and having a close relationship with a mop and hosepipe, or with a cash register, or working near the coast where they absorb boating knowledge in a way that people in an ordinary office cannot hope to do.
9 Whatever boat anyone owns, it’s pretty much the best in the world taking everything into account because well, they chose it, see? This is important. So bavarias are great, and so are beneteaus. Also sunseeker, fairline, westerly, ferretti, broom, jeanneau, bayliner, hardy, finlandia, feeling, twister, halberg-rassy, albin vega, and everything else, including especially yours, of course. Don’t criticise any brand, ever, cos otherwise someone who owns one will chime in that *they’ve* bought one , see, and they like it, and it floats too, and hence you’re just being a horrid know-nowt. Now, it's possible that being the owner of just one unit of one model from a manufacturer – or even being the manufacturer - doesn’t make them an expert in all other boats, does it? Oh look just shut up, willyer?
10 You ARE allowed to moan or complain or critcise any brand of boat component. In fact, this is positively encouraged, and depite all the boats being very wisely chosen you’ll notice a never-ending stream of posts about busted stuff which doesn’t happen anywhere near as much with any other consumer goods. Everthing goes wrong or rusts to bits or falls apart but it's just a one-off problem, see, and the boat is superb, aside from the constituents parts which is QUITE a different matter entirely.
10. Politics. Under no circumstances discuss Irish politics. All other politics is fine, but the general rule is that the UK is okay – but it isn’t as good as it used to be. Before 1970, politics was all fine and nice and pretty much al much of a muchness, and the only twit was Neville Chamberlain. After 1970, well, it’s all gone a bit downhill. Politicians these days are about as bad as yacht brokers, provided that you don’t mention the actual name of one (politician or yacht broker).
12 Religion: as ever, best not bother with it, and limit yourself to only fleeting remarks about islamic terrorism from a dispassionate viewpoint. After all, you didn’t vote for the Iraq war did you? No. Actually, nobody voted for world war 1 or 2 either, so what the heck.
