Groan

[Deleted member 478]

I give up.

This evening I was introduced to a lovely lass and if I'd downed a few more tots of Jack Daniels on ice, I would have been quite prepared to hold her hand, if you understand what I mean. And thus I was on my best behaviour.

Anyway, after about an hour of "Oh, so you partake in scuba and some boating activities" she asks me if I enjoy water sports. "Yes" says I. "In fact I have a boat and I also partake in such activities as scuba".

"Fark orf" she says, "you're only saying that to try impress me".

I wonder if saying something like "You don't wanna be with me coz I have a nasty itch and a dreaded disease", would improve my chances because she would think I was playing hard to get?

 

[jimi]

Stingo, lets face it .. you were trying to impress her. Good on the lass! Now you should have said you were a chess enthusiast with a liking for relaxing with a bit of cross stitch and cooking. Then asked her back to the boat for a meal, stitch up followed by some mating.

 

[Sixpence]

Not having a lot of luck with the women these days are you John , maybe next time don't mention , just show

 

[Guest]

[ QUOTE ]
next time don't mention , just show

[/ QUOTE ]
What, his 'boat'? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[Sixpence]

Nothing else worth showing is there ? yes , his boat

 

[Mudplugger]

Unkind Sir! and below the belt....

 

[TonyMS]

Maybe you misunderstood watersports?

Tony

 

[bobfrost]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
next time don't mention , just show

[/ QUOTE ]
His 'boat'? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


Apparently length is not everything.

 

[Lakesailor]

[ QUOTE ]
she asks me if I enjoy water sports.

[/ QUOTE ] Stop pissing about with boating boasting and try , errrm, pissing about.

 

[Guest]

[ QUOTE ]
Apparently length is not everything.

[/ QUOTE ]
More of a 'dinghy' really. Apparently.

 

[Sixpence]

Apparently ,,,,, or alledgedly ??

 

[Guest]

Who r u? The Plod? /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[Sixpence]

yeh right /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif it's normally them on here that's after liddle old me /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Guest]

Allegedly! You better watch out or they might take down your particulars and give your boat the once-over...

this is spiralling downhill fast...

 

[Sixpence]

It just got worse didn't it , and poor wee John's tucked up in bed with his teddy bear looking forward to a long trip back from the Carribean with a boat full of blokes and no woman to come home to , maybe we should line him up with a bit of , ahem , hot stuff for when he gets back

 

[Guest]

He should come out this way. You can't chuck a brick without hitting some hot stuff. Bit of a diversion from the straight line between Carribean and Falmouth admittedly, but worth it.

 

[Sixpence]

I take it you mean Krakow and not Edinburgh , I thought most of Krakow had moved over here now

 

[Guest]

And most of Edinburgh moved over to Krakow!...

 

[Sixpence]

Must admit that some of the ones that have moved into this area put the local crockadillomoosapigs to shame , they've got legs that seem to ............




stop it stop it stop it

 

[andy_wilson]

Ask her if she wants to come and sit on your 'boat' for a while!