-Gopro - Eberspacher -seacock-anchor-ensign-RNLI-mobo-life jacket - the perfect threa

dylanwinter

dylanwinter

Well-Known Member
Joined
28 Mar 2005
Messages
12,954
Location
Buckingham
www.keepturningleft.co.uk
So there I was hanging over the bow with my Go Pro bungeed to the spinnaker pole.

I was trying to film how my Bruce was holding when a bloody great 50 foot mobo came screaming past. I amanged to hold on but the wash was so massive that the water came back up my cockpit drain seacock and wet my Dubarrys.

The scoop stern bounced up and down so hard that the pole that holds my massive white ensign jumped clean out of the little tube on the stern and fell over the side.

I rushed to the back of the boat to try using the pole with the gopro on the end to catch it before the tide took it away. But my wet soled £300 boots made me slip and blow me if I did not fall overboard.

A local lubber spotted that I had fallen in and despite it being obvious that I was a strong swimmer called out the RNLI inshore people.

They arrived twenty minutes later once I was safely back aboard and I felt obliged to make a significant contribution towards the massive RNLI pension fund for senior executives.

That evening the Iphone rang and I found myself being interviewed by the BBC. The RNLI press office had told them that my life had been saved by the three crash helmet clad crusaders from the two stroke powered rubber dub

is this right?

should I have done something different?

did I forget anything?

Dylan
 
Subsequently the flagstaff with the massively oversized white ensign got entrapped in the propeller of a commercial vessel who then decided to make a claim for loss of earnings against your insurance policy but your insurers are contesting the claim and are counter-claiming for the damage done to your massive ensign by the vessel's propeller and the failure of the skipper to keep a constant lookout as required by the the IRPCS :) In the meantime you were studying the footage from the GoPro and discovered the existence of a hitherto unknown species of sea ponies but that the evidence got obliterated during the editing of the video with the latest free software package you were trialling? :) :) :)
 
gerry99 said:
Subsequently the flagstaff with the massively oversized white ensign got entrapped in the propeller of a commercial vessel who then decided to make a claim for loss of earnings against your insurance policy but your insurers are contesting the claim and are counter-claiming for the damage done to your massive ensign by the vessel's propeller and the failure of the skipper to keep a constant lookout as required by the the IRPCS :) In the meantime you were studying the footage from the GoPro and discovered the existence of a hitherto unknown species of sea ponies but that the evidence got obliterated during the editing of the video with the latest free software package you were trialling? :) :) :)
Click to expand...

very good G

we have the makings of something very special here
 
While ashore being interviewed by the BBC, an unusually low tide (below LAT in fact) caused your boat to go aground. A stone immediately became lodged in the lifting keel casing, trapping the keel in the up position.

When the boat refloated that night you were thrown out of your bunk by an unforecasted force 11 which immediately inverted the boat. The flawed design of your craft meant that the boat was extremely stable inverted and water was coming in fast through the non-sealed washboards and vents. It was time to abandon ship.

Donning your lifejacket and escaping into the icy water, you realised you would not have more than three minutes to live. You drifted downwind to a nearby Anderson 22 which, remarkably, was only heeling at around 10 degrees in even the most extreme gusts. The lack of a boarding ladder, however made it impossible to climb aboard to safety. Just when you thought "All Is Lost", you spotted an AWB with an open transom almost directly downwind.

You let go the A22, by now one of the few remaining boats still afloat in the harbour, and drifted further downwind, using your last reserves of energy to swim ten degrees to the left. You were beginning to tire now with the effort of treading water (your expensive Spinlock Deckvest having failed to inflate) and your head was just slipping below the surface for what you presumed would be the final time when a monster wave washed you right into the AWB's cockpit. "Phew", you thought, "I wouldn't want to catch a wave like that through there in a following sea. What a terribly unsafe design."

It was far too dangerous to risk trying to get ashore, so you decided the AWB owner wouldn't mind if you sheltered down below for a while. The cabin was incredibly comfortable, but a lack of handholds meant you were immediately thrown hard against a comfortable settee. Another close call. You stripped off your wet clothing and turned on the hot shower, but the boat's lack of sea-kindly motion in the large waves made it impossible to stand up. Luckily there was a seat.

Having fired up the Eberspacher (which made an annoying ticking noise), you were now warm and dry, but it would be some hours before your clothes were dry enough to put on. You decided that having helped yourself to his boat, the owner would hardly mind if you also availed yourself of his wardrobe. Unfortunately all he had were pairs of red trousers and polo shirts with the boat's name embroidered on (at a very low cost by an extremely responsive small business), but beggars can't be choosers.

Having poured yourself a whiskey (in for a penny), there was nothing more to do but wait for the storm to subside, so you decided to take a look at YBW forums on your iPhone, which survived the dunking by virtue of a ziplock bag, a far cheaper alternative to the outrageously expensive Lifeproof case. A "boat watch" thread had just started, and in the strangest coincidence, a bloke called Simon had just asked if anyone could look at his boat which happened to be moored in the very harbour you had just managed to extract your almost lifeless body from. He gave the name and model of the boat, and you glanced across to the plaque above the chart table before replying...

"Yes, I've just been down there, don't worry, your boat is fine."
 
Last edited:
Was the life boat crewed by muslims, who had a bee in their bonnet about mmgw or lack of, whilst voting for a green/tory coalition. And a lakey titsnbums calendar on the centre consol.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Top