Good Cold Cure Needed!

[Guest]

I've had this bl**dy cold / 'flu thing on and off for most of the winter. The chemist has had more money out of me than Hobbs Marine Store! I need to get rid of it permanently as I start fitting out the boat on the first of March. At the moment I haven't got the strength to open a tin of varnish!

So lets have your best, guaranteed to work, cure anything concoctions.

 

[tcm]

1. Get in the car, turn the seats and heating on full, then crash the car. Nobody sneezes or coughs achoo whilst arguing the toss, they always seems to rush around at the side of the road however cold it is, so this must work.

2. Go somewhere abroad. My wife tells me it is only 15 quid to go to Ancona. I thnk that this may be in spain, or maybe italy, but at 15 quid, it's not worth buying an atlas.

3. get a bowl of hot water, and a tea towel. Then, continue as 1 above. The other driver will be most wary of a very heated adversary.

4. When using phamaceutical products, read the label. You are allowed 6 Pracetamoaccording to the packetl, 12 Anadin according to that packet, 10 Neurofen, Half a bottle of Night Nurse and unlimited Cognac. So how the hell are you still awake/alive?

 

[chippie]

A good feed of Thai green curry will clear the nasal passages followed by a triple scotch taken straight, then three glasses of water and off to sleep until nature wakes you up. If there is any curry left over have it for breakfast the next day.
A couple of days of that and the flu wont seem so bad.

Your post reminds me of a building job I did for a pharmacist some years ago who couldnt shake off the flu having tried virtually everthing in his shop. He was finally cured by a weird potion made from the bark of trees and given to him by some Maoris. Unfortunately for you the tree only grows in NZ.

Cheers

 

[BarryD]

As below - have a JalFrazi (or the like) curry with a bottle of red wine, then crash on the sofa with a large Brandy or three. Before passing out neck some night nurse. Might not cure the cold but you will pass out and get a decent nights sleep if nothing else <G>. IMHO & FWIW of course.

Havoc, fire, confusion, and mis-trust, yes my work here is done...

Barry D

 

[burgundyben]

Get Pi**ed.

1. Get pissed, that wil lget shopt of it.

2. Spend 4 hours in a cab stuck on the M3 and miss a flight like I just did, then the cold wont seem so bad.

3. Then do get on another plane and get pissed.

 

[claymore]

Echinacea 30 drops 3 times a day in water.
Nurofen to reduce temp. - to max dose each 24 hours
Sauna and drop olbas oil onto the coals
Honey, lemon and whisky at Bedtime
Oranges.
Vegetable soup.
Never fails as it creates the environment on which no known virus can survive.
Cod liver oil capsule every day, plus 1 junior asprin per day plus multivit - this prevents return.
Get well soon!
regards
John S

 

[paulineb]

Excellent advice Doctor ...

... do you make house calls ?

Pxx

 

[Falcon71]

Claymore, I agree with you, but substitute home made chicken soup, and you can just steam over a bowl of boiling water, maybe some tea tree oil added as soon as you feel anything like a cold on, and it will stop it dead, most times. See a homeopath as well, sounds like your system needs a real boost.

 

[claymore]

Re: Excellent advice Doctor ...

Hmmmm, I do a mean vick chest rub too, excellent for sprained ankles!
js
x

 

[toobaz]

Had a terrible case of the flu last week while going on leave to Egypt.
Used Ibuprofen Cold & Flu and take 1 lemon, 1 orange freashly squeezed and honey with hot water and a tot of your drink. Cleared me up..........3 days to get it, 3 days to have and 3 days to lose it...........lost it in 4 days.
Barry