Gardening advice

Re: teak - that\'s the stuff

Nah thats the path to perdition .. he's just end up with a lawn covered in black plastic binliners for the next couple of years
 
Re: Share a sheep

it is how to avoid doing it - that is the male way of 'doing it'. doing it defeats the object as anyone could do it in the first place .
 
3.5 acres ........

You think you have trouble !! Even with the garden tractor it takes average 8 - 10 hours to cut it all.

BUT I have a big advantage ... SHE has declared that garden and pets is HER's .... that I have nothing to do apart from cut grass. So now what I do is cut in sections .... evening jobs ........ but then of course I have another advantage ... boat at bottom of garden ... thet SHE likes to go on... so all I have to do fix the o/bd on back ... whisper the magic words ... fancy a couple of hours on the river ....................... !!

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Re: 3.5 acres ........

think you ought get your gardener a pair of safety boots - or even hiking boots ......
 
Re: 3.5 acres ........

[ QUOTE ]
think you ought get your gardener a pair of safety boots - or even hiking boots ......

[/ QUOTE ]I was an ambulanceman, before the advent of paramedics.
I went to a call in which a lady had been Flymowing the lawn in her slippers. She had stumbled on a low wall around the lawn and fallen backwards drawing the Flymo over her now upright feet.
It neatly removed the end of her slipper and four toes.
Although I recovered the missing phalanges, the surgeon thought them too far gone to re-attach.
 
tis a matter of right planning...

If some of these guys happen to be near-by, say doing some actual repairs, pass them a tenner and your problem is solved... for ever!

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I managed to get out of gardening duty for life with my first ex. This was in the 70's so t' yunguns probably won't understand the joys of a time limited Sunday lunchtime session.

It started with SWMBO insisting I do something about the back garden on said Sunday but fortunately I had been t' pub for a couple of swift buckets-a-beer wi' neighbour before getting stuck in after the pubs had closed at 2.

It was a new house and the builders had very kindly left me some extra concrete, bricks, etc. some of which had to dug out. I started digging the first place I came to, right outside the back door and the first attempt to get the fork in the soil was very sucessful, it was in nice and deep so, as you do, I pulled back on the fork handle but it wouldn't budge.

Right you b...r, a proper pull this time and .... the fork handle suddenly ceased all resistance and I went backwards fast enought to put me a..e through the bottom pane of glass in the back door.

After spending Sunday afternoon with me at the local A & E and coming back to a sacrifice to the gods in the oven (yes, forgot to turn the oven off wi' sunday roast in) I was promptly banned from gardening for life (she was clever enough not to try to ban the pub :-)

The experience left me with a gardening free life (until the next ex. but that's another story :-) and an interesting souvenir, which is available to view for those with strong stomachs and pockets deep enough to get me tipsy.

I suppose you don't have a glass back door available these days Ken, even if you weren't averse to a visist to the A & E (I still think it was worth it) but surely a man of your intellect can figure some way to cock it up so that you too can experience the bliss of a gardening free life :-)
 
Re: tis a matter of right planning...

[ QUOTE ]
If some of these guys happen to be near-by, say doing some actual repairs, pass them a tenner and your problem is solved... for ever!


[/ QUOTE ]

I rather fancy it will be many many many tenners and far from being solved for ever you will find the grass and weeds growing through it within 12 months.

Experience!

And as for Mudpluggers advice .... you will most likely find SWMBO will become exSWMBO.
 
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