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jimi

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Well as you know Para and I went to see Claysie at the week end. Never having met the man before we were a bit unsure as to what we were about to meet. So we popped into a pub and got a couple of the local drunks and sent them weaving down the Jetty to meet Claysie whilst we observed from afar. In the meantime our host had a similar idea and had installed another drunk in the boat so he could check us out whilst hiding in an upturned dinghy before revealing himself. The 3 drunks got on like a house on fire and soon set sail. Claysie revealed himself by shouting "Come back you bastids" whilst struggling to extricate himself from the embraces of an amorous rubber duck. We in the meantime could'nt move being paralysed with mirth.
What should we do to avoid these situations in the future?


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tcm

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Re: Similar experience

Hm, you will have to stop doing this. Sending that weird scottish-sounding shortarse drunk to our party in January didn't work either - he ran off at 10 pm unable to keep up the accent.

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sailbadthesinner

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Re: Similar experience

As i re call his 'controller' kept on trying to ring him to say 'get out of there you are ruining everything'

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jimi

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Technical incontinence

That apparently was the bozo's inability to control a phone. In the debrief it emerged that the phone's sound setting had been turned off and the vodafone voicemail thingie had tried 22 times to deliver a message!

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tcm

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Re: Technical incontinence

Ah, it all makes sense now, cos he knew nothing at all about boating or sailing either. I mean, nothing! He obviously realised that he was about to be rumbled.

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sailbadthesinner

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Re: Technical incontinence

did you get to see what was in that gurt big rucksack he had
when i asked him he muttered something about ropes and went all defensive

then again i had to be careful meself in case any one caught on the paid escort i had was not mrs s2b. DOH!

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tcm

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Re: Mrs Notsb2b

Hah, don't think we did guess that one! Several people were asking quietly "how on earth did that speccy scouser manage to find such a beautiful and intelligent fiancé?" so we had to puttem straight.

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sailbadthesinner

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Re: Mrs Notsb2b

whadda ya mean intelligent???
i told her not to speak to anyone except jimi's plant.
damn another gaff blown



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claymore

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Re: Mrs Notsb2b

Mrs not2b - is it off...have ye joined Stingos bunch of single wristed comic readers?

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sailbadthesinner

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Re: Mrs Notsb2b

no it is all still on
well i think it is
mrs s 2 b rang today to say next tuesday evening she is going to look at the vicar's organ and maybe have a wee play.

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claymore

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Re: Similar experience

Hmm
The Jimi I met was quite tall. Well, that is he was taller than me. But - as I've said in a previous post, I only have short legs.
The Jimi I met was confusing in that sometimes he had 4 eyes and sometimes he only had 2.
The Jimi I met was clean shaven when I met him but wasn't when he left
The Jimi I met did have a large bag, but he didn't really need it because he didn't seem to use anything that was in it
But he spoke perfectly, all the time, even in drink and in his sleep.

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jimi

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Large Bag

.. wiz full of sun lotion, shorts, waterproof gear etc.., needed none of it due to the Scottish weather and Claymore's covered patio.

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claymore

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Re: Mrs Notsb2b

Village organist in car lies
Between the vicars wifies thighs
Vicars voice comes from afar, stop ------g wifie
start ------g car

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sailbadthesinner

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Re: Mrs Notsb2b

our vicar has a beard and sandals
no joke
i donot think he is mrs s2b's type



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sailbadthesinner

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Re: Mrs Notsb2b

actually come to think of it i have some reef sandals and very rarely shave
b*gger
best make sure i am at church tuesday night.

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