FENDERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Will]

Dear stinkies,

I can't help but notice an increasing trend of leaving these things all of a dangle when you're all rushing about on your urgent business.
I'm not being a cantankerous old git but i was always taught that this was poor seamanship and bad manners. Now i appreciate it must be quite hard to get er indoors to totter along those slippery sidedecks on your big pointy white things, but doesn't this worry you?
And it's my birthday. For which I got a proper job megaphone, which I've always wanted. So I shall be found some evenings sitting on my balcony overlooking the Thames with an ale in one hand and trusty megaphone in t'other. You have been warned - unless I get an explanation on ere I shall be having very vocal discussions with the next floating dodgem lookalike wot dares to try and zoom past unnoticed! ;-)

 

[boatone]

Ok megaphone man........but before I answer I'd like to know which little bit of the Thames you can see from your balcony!

MoBoChat Images and Profile Pics at www.arweb.co.uk/argallery/mobochat

 

[DepSol]

Happy Birthday.

At least we dont hang our laundry out whilst going along!

The fenders are there in case of raggies out of control.

BTW I always pull in my fenders as I have a nice walk way down the side of my boat.

Dom


I just want my boat back in the water ;-(

 

[Will]

Ah no you see, that would spoil the surprise. But to give you a clue, it's on a bend. Hope this helps.

 

[sailbadthesinner]

I thought they left them on cos it matched the wife's big dangly earings

Those with those classy small tyres painted white along side obviously have wives with hoopy types
Just to redress I have seen raggies trailing them in the water along side.

Wants woman with boat
Send photo of boat

 

[Guest]

Huh, just toddle up the River Severn (if you've got the wind and if you've the power to make headway against Severn's mighty current) and you'll see everyone and I mean everyone has lovely fenders a-dangling from every inch. 'cos we've got locks, see. You try tellin' some of the mean looking Anglo-Saxon midlanders to: "Ahoy you there, pop those fenders in would you?".......one of the words replied would most certainly be 'off'! Rough lot, us lot in Midlands.
Toodle pip, old boy......

 

[Geoffs]

Dear will,

First the pleasantries, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Now down to business. So a few people leave fenders dangling, so what? OK, it looks untidy, and this could be argued to indicate poor seamanship, or rivermanship.

But can't see why it's considered bad manners. It could be argued to be good manners. The dangly things are always there to protect anything else you come into contact with. Also, if left hanging, they're more likely to fall off, for some other lucky soul to find.

I suppose if left down they get dirty, and thus can transfer muck to other boats. That reminds me of my narrow boating days. I think I was in Benson lock, when a big white GRP cruiser approached. Missus on the bow shouted 'We can't go in there, there's an old coal barge in there. I'll have to get the dirty fenders out!'

Now I own a plastic GRP boat, I wouldn't want to go into a lock with an old coal barge ;-)


Old Chinese proverb 'Man who sail boat into rice field, soon get into paddy'

 

[PGD]

Quite agree will all said for leaving them out, 1. on the Thames we have locks and 2. we have lots of coal barges - no offense and 3. holiday boaters ! say no more. In addition to that if I haul them up then where do I put them, I can't then walk round the side of my boat - cos I don't have big GRP with rails all the way around .

So they stay down and just have to be cleaned when you moor up against a muddy bank.

Peter

 

[oldgit]

Yet another way to distuinquish betwixt the folk who live on the hill and the rough lot who live on the "estate".
A row of smart white things with natty little socks on means,I am very wealthy and can afford to buy my fenders at an expensive Marina chandlery all at the same time.
A bunch of bashed about mismatched off coloured danglers means that they were all fished out of the river or nicked.

 

[ToMo]

scuse me are we talking fenders or feet here?
TöMö

 

[oldgit]

you musta seen em.Little socky things that keep your fendery things from marking your immaculate unblemished white hull.

 

[Medskipper]

Personally I put them in their baskets when under wey, but now I know I can piss people off by leaving them dangling!!!!!!!!!!


Barry

 

[Sirus]

Personally I just can't be arsed to put them up everytime I come out of a lock.

 

[trev]

What business is it of yours what I do with my fenders ?
And what on earth has this to do with seamanship or good manners ?
Happy Birthday !

Trev

 

[ChrisP]

I fear that whilst living on the bend it appears you have actually gone round it. Far form poor seamanship the owner of the motorboat is in actual fact, complying with the spirit of the collision regs. In so far that he is preventing damage to his vessel as a result of collision with the collection of old bed sheets, scrap iron and discarded lilo's that you appear to drifting around the high sea's on. The owner has realised that in common with your kind, you will endeavour to collide with him at every opportunity. Especially in harbour surroundings where you will call it "mooring up".

With regard to your newly acquired megaphone this is an obvious example of a loved one pandering to your kinds, hankering for obsolete technology in the name of traditionalism. Either that or they recognised the fact that it's unlikely that you could master the workings of a modern bullhorn. With this in mind I offer the following helpful hints for the use of said item.

1. Remove trousers and any lingering undergarments.
2. Sit on the megaphone's mouth piece (the small end).
3. Talk to your heart's content.

You should find this will considerably increase the volume of your inane mutterings.

As an aid to the safety of yourself & others I would advise that you stay on your balcony and make a serious attempt at reading one of the Enid Blyton books that one of which, your home help can easily obtain from the local children’s library. This should keep you occupied for at least the next couple of seasons, and allow the rest of us a break from the cretinous antics of at least one of the half pint drinking, "raggie rabble".


What do you mean the sea gull in front's walking !!!

 

[PGD]

LOL very good, but i'm somewhere between the two, new fenders over the last couple of years, couple of spares tucked away, but no socks in sight, mine would have to be white and they went out of fasion with Dell boy in the 80's

So mine are bare foot in the water, where they will stay till they need a clean.

Peter

 

[Viking]

Leave them alone. When I was in the UK. I never had to buy a fender. After some bad weather, I always seem to get a new collection of fenders, Fairline usually, which had drop off motor boats during the blow.

 

[kghowe]

If you live near Langstone the Fairline fenders are probably mine, gotta get the missus to tie those knots proper!

Heres hoping