Etiquette on cost-sharing with guests

[MidlandsOnSea]

If you have friends on your boat for a weekend, would you expect them to share the fuel / mooring costs (assuming no great disparity between your financial means and those of your guests)?

I just wondered what other people's experience is.

When we had sails, we never expected it, and most of our guests never offered or mentioned it. But, with mobos, the fuel costs in particular mount up a bit more quickly. I'd like to think I'm not mean, but neither am I wealthy enough to disregard the costs. We like having friends on board and we wouldn't want to offend.

I realise that one mustn't expect or accept anything more than a simple cost-share if the yacht isn't coded and insured for commercial use.

 

[petem]

I'm well known for being a tight arse (scottish you see) but even I wouldn't expect them to buy me more than dinner.

 

[gcwhite]

I have mused over this one for several seasons. At first we all used to share all cost ie run a kitty including fuel. Then last season I had a pang of conscience and thought it was wrong to expect guests to contribute to the fuel bill; after all I had invited them. Most, if not all, my guests protested and said they were happy to contribute so this season I think I will accept.

 

[hlb]

I'd like the answer to this one. Maybe we need a forum code of conduct.

I used to take my mate Venon down to the boat for a week every year. On his insistance, we had a rough account and he paid half, even volunteered to pay some of the costs when the prop shaft fell off in Dartmouth. Also used to take the local pop group on there anual fishing trip. They all paid there share. Not sure how this helps. Others I know have paid in kind, bottom scrubbing, lobsters, crabs etc. Not sure what is acceptabe practice.

 

[tcm]

Excellent question

Agreed, much easier on a raggieboat when costs are much lower.

on a stinkpot, i reckon i'd go places on the boat anyway, so assking for them to contribute towards fuel and mooring of your boat is not really on if you invite them along cos the marginal (extra) costs are zero.

The rare exception would be if it really was a long expedition and/or a joint decision such as "lets' go on a big adventure to xxx for 2 weeks " and/or when both of you had boats but going in just one made more sense - then in those cases sharing the fuel and mooring costs is more appropriate. I spose the other exception is if you actually say up front what the deal is, before inviting them - you can't invitem and then later say er look the fuel is £300 so ahem i reckon u owe me £150. But as above, i haven't done that as far as i can remeber.


It's bad form if guests work out how to split restaurant bills instead of whipping them out of your hand and paying, cos that's not really on, unless you are eating out at restaurants twice a day or more in which case you will want to pay sometimes too - but they should be protesting that really they should pay more often than you, and secretly, they're right.

It's good form for guests to suggest that they contribute towards mooring costs but quirkily as these things are - it's also good form for you to graciously brush the idea aside. Again, the exceptions apply for a grand adventure to somewhhere you wouldn't otherwise go to unless the costs are shared, but again, it must be decided before the invite is confirmed, and you shoud givem an idea of costs too.

Some guests turn up with boatie or other alcohol-based presents which is also nice. Some others don't and i'm afraid it's noticeable: they really mustn't be tightwads in the least little bit cos blamming around on a powerboat is far more expensive that ripping up £10 notes.

Importantly of course - many powerboaties don't need the money and can easily pay for everything - it's the thoughtfulness of the guests rather than anything else that matters, and if they don't recognise that actually staying on board a boat that doesn't even move is expensive enough, then that's just not on and although hauling yet more wine/beer onto a massive boat owned by some blimmin millionaire stinkie might seems and irrelevant gesture - it really isn't. So the less thoughtful ones will be parked on your boat and wil be offered a beer and erm, suddenly realised they hadn't thought this out...

Oh, and our boat is coded for commercial use - but that makes no difference if they're friends - i mean your house is ok to rent but you wouldn't charge guests to stay a weekend, see?

I have just realised that others who have been on the boat might read this! so lemmesay that foumites jfm, learner and zefender are amongst those that get it exactly right.

all imho

 

[omega2]

If your friends enjoy and appreciate the day out then I would think they would offer something, if they do not offer and are takers then learn who your friends are

 

[Lakesailor]

[ QUOTE ]
If your friends enjoy and appreciate the day out then I would think they would offer something, if they do not offer and are takers then learn who your friends are

[/ QUOTE ]
Exactly, you wanted a stinker, you would use it anyway, so if they don't offer to contribute it's not like you've lost anything.
On the other hand they are getting a trip they couldn't buy, so maybe ask guests who are more likely to stump up next time.

 

[whisper]

I've never had a guest on board that hasn't offered to pay - atleast for the fuel. In a number of cases they offer to pay for all of it rather than their share. Their argument seems to be that they couldn't have had such a good day out if I hadn't asked them - poor lads, must be short of friends.
In practice, I accept only their share perhaps 50% of the time - usually depends on my perceived knowledge of their financial situations.
Ideally after a long trip or a few days of short ones, you should go and fill up with fuel, with them on board. This normally brings forth the offers. It somewhat annoys me if none is forthcoming, whether I agree to its acceptance or not /forums/images/graemlins/ooo.gif.
Was far more likely to accept payment when running petrol engines though, 'cos unlike tcm's circle of ship owners, I can't afford to be overly generous, financially. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[cjrvernon]

i would not take money as i would use it anyway so whats the differance
between you going out with the wife or a extra 2 on board

dont take the money

 

[oldgit]

Most of my stuff is day trips and the fuel costs are piffling and no mooring costs..99.9% of the time my usual motley crowd of friends are invited to come along and I would not ask or expect any payment as would be going anyway and would much prefer some company as opposed to going out alone.It is however nice to be offered a nice new twenty for fuel, some folks always try to make a contribution co feel embarassed not to,while others bring a bit of nosh and wine etc.Some do not,praps feeling awkward or whatever.Regard it mostly as a pleasure to be able to share with others my pleasure of being on the water.The other consideration is many of the folks we boat with invite us along for flying and motor racing jollies ,some are a whizz at electrics so all a bit of a economic exchange which possibly evens out eventually.

 

[Magnum]

Never taken a penny off anyone, but guest have always brought gifts and picked up the tab for meals. Best way in my opinion.

 

[Kevin]

Hi

wouldnt consider taking anything from people I have onboard, the reason they are there is because i want them there and they want to be there and the extra costs arent really anything the chances are you would be out using your boat anyway and a few extra bodies does little to affect consumption - If they buy me a drink then great if not who cares if you start to accept 'payment' then your just chartering to people you know, seems similar to inviting them round for dinner then charging for the more use of electric and wear and tear on furniture

Kevin

 

[gcwhite]

I suppose the nature of the cruise is also an issue. For example in August we are cruising to S Brittany with another family on board. We regularly holiday with them in various locations when obviously everyone pays their way. So with this year's cruise we have agreed to share all variable costs ie fuel and berthing.

I think major planned trips probably justify cost sharing whereas short day trips definitely do not.

 

[whisper]

If you were invited to someone's flat for example and then taken out for a couple of days boating, would you offer to pay some of the expenses ?
I certainly would and I would try to insist on it being taken. If it was refused then I'd make sure that I managed to pay up in other ways such as by meals out. Otherwise I'd consider myself to be a rude and ungrateful leech. Is this attitude no longer correct ? /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[Deleted User YDKXO]

I find raising this subject with friends to be embarassing and in any case most people have no conception of the cost of running a motor boat so asking them to fork out £200 to share the cost of fuel can lead to bad feeling all round. What I do object to is people who come on your boat for the weekend, bring nothing, sit around all day whilst you wait on them hand and foot and then offer to go halves on dinner! Usually these same people will bugger off the second you land back at the marina without offering to help clean up.
Rather than guests who help with the costs I would prefer to invite people who really appreciate the boating experience, help with crew duties and maybe do more than their fair share of washing up and cleaning with good humour

 

[hlb]

Yep, the ones that dont offer anything, bring anything or offer to help with anything, are the worse. Sit there like the queen being choffered /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif around like little miss or mister muck!!

 

[BrendanS]

Sometimes a little embarassing tho, like when someone has come across from Solent on a little craft with no supplies and meets up with someone on bigger boat, and is there with lots of other little boats. One person supplies huge welcome and drinks, and other person has no supplies, and Salcombe being what it it, no chance to reciprocate?

One day!

 

[hlb]

You must have been reading my mind. Now what sort of tosser would do that!! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

 

[whisper]

Isn't that the norm for Solent Sports Boat Drivers?

 

[kingfisher]

I take care of the fuel, the crew deal with the provisioning, we share the overnight berthing costs. And I wouldn't dare to ask them to cover my bar bill, as that would ruin them.

Being a raggie, I don't spend much on fuel. So if the wind is good, I win, if we have to motor a lot, the crew wins. Either way, they wash my deck after the sail. I don't ask, I just point out where they can find the hose and the brush, and they understand the hint.