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Earl\'s Court Show : Real-World Preview
With hundreds of exhibitors, it’s sure to be a great show. Here’s an action-packed guide to Earls Court.
A trip to Earl’s Court always starts with the issue of parking the car, haha. Indeed, for most visitors, parking the car is the main action of the day. For those coming from the South, they’ll come along the Embankment and then up Earl’s Court Road. For everyone else, they’ll prat about on the M25, perhaps a shortcut through Heathrow terminal 4 and then the perimeter road, back on the M4, and then the Hammersmith Flyover, but soon enough, they’ll see the “Way In” signs. Unfortunately, they’re the “way in” signs for Heston Services, sort the kids/wife out and then on into London proper. Yes, it is rather a long queue BLIMEY look it goes all the way in. Some recession eh? No that’s the bus lane, can’t go there, look – cameras.
Eventually… We Have To Turn Right. Is it the right turn into the Dinghies, the Guinness Stand, or the Electronics section? Nope, it’s the right turn off the A4 towards Brighton, and down past McDonalds Earl’s Court, Ring Road it says. From there, there’s the enticing option to hang a right somewhere around Macdonald’s, and Cut Through …which looks promising, but that simply leads you all around the Residents Parking, past some more Residents Parking, and back on to the southbound road that you turned off almost ten minutes ago. Bum.
At last , a right turn onto the Brompton Road and another right brings you to the main entrance, we'll soon be there now. Officious parking types with lime-green coloured macs lean in, and wave some people through the left hand lane. If you’re quick here with a £10 or probably £20 note at the steering wheel, you can ask determinedly to park on the right behind the barrier, but you weren’t quick and/or it’s already full so on we go and get waved out of the back to join the queue for the overflow car parks cos the other car park, where we parked last year, is full OOh look at that cheeky git he's not going to leave it there is he? he is yerknow...and that's the last spot ...If we'd been here just five minutes earlier... That's you're fault for making us stop at the services. Well you should have had a wee before we set off then. Alright, the kids fault but your fault for giving them drinks. I know I had a wee too, but I didn't need to, look just shut up and Look For A Space.
There are all sorts of new models of boats and equipment to be seen at this year’s show. That’s what it says in the mags anyway. Trouble is, we’re still in the blimmin car. No, don’t get out here you silly moo cos we won’t be able to a get/use a family ticket, and anyway we’ll just all get lost . I’ll U-turn here and try park up somewhere else. Left onto Earls Court Road again, and carry on ahead to find parking on the north side of the M4. Okay, I mean the A4. Yes, it says Cromwell Road, that IS the A4., same thing…I don’t know why, probably everyone with a house there doesn’t want to call their house “123 The A4”. Yes it would be easier, but anyway, ooh look, Tescos. They always have parking. Let’s park there, and nip through the back eh? What ? Remember what? Oh yeah…last time we parked there we got done for being longer than two hours, which is £25 quid. Ah but we can spend money in Tesco first, no? Oh yeah….doesn’t make any difference, still a 2-hour limit, else £25 quid. Right well sod that, let’s go round again. What a rip-off. I don’t know why anyone would want to live in London, I really don’t. Oh well, yes I see your point, they could indeed come on the Tube….WHAT ON EARTH is this guy doing in front? hehe I'll just nip round thw side ...like this!! In Your Face Matey haha In Your Face! ... What do you mean, I learnt how to say that from the kids in the first place! ...o shit now we’ve missed the right back down the ring road! ...Alright *I've* missed the bloody right turn yeah right *Excuse me* for doing all the driving eh? No, I'm not saying you can drive...
The London Boat Show has one of the largest proportions of foreign visitors of any of the boat shows. This may have something to do with it’s proximity to London Heathrow, but more likely because all the brits are still driving round looking for somewhere to park the flaming car. Let’s try that overflow car park again. Or do you fancy just driving round with the kids in the back while I just nip in? No, thought not...Next year, I'll come on my own. Yes, I said that last year. Alright, next year we'll come on the train. Oh yes we said that too, but there was a train strike...
With hundreds of exhibitors, it’s sure to be a great show. Here’s an action-packed guide to Earls Court.
A trip to Earl’s Court always starts with the issue of parking the car, haha. Indeed, for most visitors, parking the car is the main action of the day. For those coming from the South, they’ll come along the Embankment and then up Earl’s Court Road. For everyone else, they’ll prat about on the M25, perhaps a shortcut through Heathrow terminal 4 and then the perimeter road, back on the M4, and then the Hammersmith Flyover, but soon enough, they’ll see the “Way In” signs. Unfortunately, they’re the “way in” signs for Heston Services, sort the kids/wife out and then on into London proper. Yes, it is rather a long queue BLIMEY look it goes all the way in. Some recession eh? No that’s the bus lane, can’t go there, look – cameras.
Eventually… We Have To Turn Right. Is it the right turn into the Dinghies, the Guinness Stand, or the Electronics section? Nope, it’s the right turn off the A4 towards Brighton, and down past McDonalds Earl’s Court, Ring Road it says. From there, there’s the enticing option to hang a right somewhere around Macdonald’s, and Cut Through …which looks promising, but that simply leads you all around the Residents Parking, past some more Residents Parking, and back on to the southbound road that you turned off almost ten minutes ago. Bum.
At last , a right turn onto the Brompton Road and another right brings you to the main entrance, we'll soon be there now. Officious parking types with lime-green coloured macs lean in, and wave some people through the left hand lane. If you’re quick here with a £10 or probably £20 note at the steering wheel, you can ask determinedly to park on the right behind the barrier, but you weren’t quick and/or it’s already full so on we go and get waved out of the back to join the queue for the overflow car parks cos the other car park, where we parked last year, is full OOh look at that cheeky git he's not going to leave it there is he? he is yerknow...and that's the last spot ...If we'd been here just five minutes earlier... That's you're fault for making us stop at the services. Well you should have had a wee before we set off then. Alright, the kids fault but your fault for giving them drinks. I know I had a wee too, but I didn't need to, look just shut up and Look For A Space.
There are all sorts of new models of boats and equipment to be seen at this year’s show. That’s what it says in the mags anyway. Trouble is, we’re still in the blimmin car. No, don’t get out here you silly moo cos we won’t be able to a get/use a family ticket, and anyway we’ll just all get lost . I’ll U-turn here and try park up somewhere else. Left onto Earls Court Road again, and carry on ahead to find parking on the north side of the M4. Okay, I mean the A4. Yes, it says Cromwell Road, that IS the A4., same thing…I don’t know why, probably everyone with a house there doesn’t want to call their house “123 The A4”. Yes it would be easier, but anyway, ooh look, Tescos. They always have parking. Let’s park there, and nip through the back eh? What ? Remember what? Oh yeah…last time we parked there we got done for being longer than two hours, which is £25 quid. Ah but we can spend money in Tesco first, no? Oh yeah….doesn’t make any difference, still a 2-hour limit, else £25 quid. Right well sod that, let’s go round again. What a rip-off. I don’t know why anyone would want to live in London, I really don’t. Oh well, yes I see your point, they could indeed come on the Tube….WHAT ON EARTH is this guy doing in front? hehe I'll just nip round thw side ...like this!! In Your Face Matey haha In Your Face! ... What do you mean, I learnt how to say that from the kids in the first place! ...o shit now we’ve missed the right back down the ring road! ...Alright *I've* missed the bloody right turn yeah right *Excuse me* for doing all the driving eh? No, I'm not saying you can drive...
The London Boat Show has one of the largest proportions of foreign visitors of any of the boat shows. This may have something to do with it’s proximity to London Heathrow, but more likely because all the brits are still driving round looking for somewhere to park the flaming car. Let’s try that overflow car park again. Or do you fancy just driving round with the kids in the back while I just nip in? No, thought not...Next year, I'll come on my own. Yes, I said that last year. Alright, next year we'll come on the train. Oh yes we said that too, but there was a train strike...
