Do women really not like heavy weather?

[dom]

First a disclaimer, I'm as far from woke as can be!

But I've noticed thread after thread referencing the loss of brownie points, nookie points, etc., for hitting heavy weather, overfalls, etc.

My limited personal anecdotal evidence doesn't support this view.

My son doesn't like big blows offshore, unless the wind is from behind and we can really rev up. My daughter by comparison is totally relaxed, although she prefers to stay below and read during the worst of it. As for 'the wife', she's as Happy as Larry.

With respect to friends, I'd almost say men get more jittery, possibly because of a need to be in control. Is this really only me?

 

[Neeves]

Sailing is meant to be a pastime, hobby, pleasure, something to look forward to. You are young and fancy free, or you have 3 children, or a dog and the skipper is female and loves heavy weather,

Maiden

It takes all sorts. I would not categorise

Jonathan

 

[newtothis]

I once did a racing season on a boat where the bow person was a skinny-as-a-rake young woman that we nicknamed Olive Oyl.
During one ghastly race across the channel she spent several hours fighting to change a stuck headsail as the boat buried its nose continuously and most of the rest of the crew, me included, cowered in the cockpit.
I know that is n=1, but see also the number of women doing Vendee and other types of events. We can probably put the 'women don't like heavy weather' myth to rest.

 

[Deleted member 36384]

.. You are young and fancy free, or you have 3 children, or a dog and the skipper is female and loves heavy weather, ... I would not categorise ...

But you just have.

To the OP, it’s not a truism, the woman I know who sail their own boats or sail with me, manage rough weather without complaint.

 

[01_Anna]

I sail a small racing boat. My own. With my daugter. Who, among other things, sailed in the Arctic Circle, in gale force 9 winds...aged sixteen. My husband's interest in sailing is...non-existent, to say the least. I never ever heard about women not liking heavy weaver saing...untill I read it in this forum. (Important Disclaimer: Continental European born and bred.)

 

[noelex]

 

[LadyInBed]

I don't like heavy metal / weather . . . . but I put up with it

 

[johnalison]

The answer is really mundane. There is no essential difference in fortitude between the sexes but the drive to buy a cruising boat is predominantly male, as well as the opportunity. This means that there is a need for the wife to join in his activity, something that she may or may not be happy to do, but because it wasn’t she who initiated the acquisition there is a good chance that the life doesn’t suit her.

I know examples that run counter to this, with the woman being the yacht-owner, and where the wife will happily go anywhere. Because the wives didn’t have the initial urge to go to sea, most cases involving my friends conform to the stereotype of the wife escaping below in bad weather or avoiding the trip altogether. My wife comes somewhere in the middle. At least when we were younger and fitter, she would go anywhere that I was happy to go, but although she would take her turn at the helm her endurance was always limited.

 

[ryanroberts]

Last year I repeatedly saw a chap needlessly yelling at his wife and kids while tying up his boat. Strangely enough I have not seen him back again.. I think people who self select for messing about in boats are likely more comfy with the idea of waves etc than those who do not, so the all too common situation of a less than enthusiastic female partner being dragged onto the water by their significant other skews perception. My stepfather is the biggest water wuss I have had on my boat, and random tinder dates (that I admittedly am filtering for potential admirals) who had never sailed have been chill in overfalls, but sailing even in fine conditions basically traumatised my last partner who only did it for me.

I recently took a cave diver out sail dating, a far more scary and dangerous thing to do than knock around the south coast in a heavy 10m boat.

 

[Kukri]

My sister was briefly the youngest holder of an RYA yacht master’s certificate (we are both now in our sixties and she was I think sixteen or seventeen at that time). She bought her own cruising boat later and is the only person I know who has gone to sleep in the forecabin of a Twister beating into F8.

 

[Caraway]

Quoting examples of the exceptions doesn't build a picture of the generality.

In our (hilly) area we often see cycling couples. We assume they are couples because the bloke (MAMIL) is hundreds of metres ahead and the wife in less serious gear is struggling along behind. Activities to do together need to have a balance of ability and enjoyment.

 

[Poignard]

'
That is not a grin, that is a rictus of fear.

 

[ryanroberts]

Quoting examples of the exceptions doesn't build a picture of the generality.

In our (hilly) area we often see cycling couples. We assume they are couples because the bloke (MAMIL) is hundreds of metres ahead and the wife in less serious gear is struggling along behind. Activities to do together need to have a balance of ability and enjoyment.

Sailing seems to be one of the few activities that when taken to an elite level allows women to compete directly with men as it is not dependent on raw athletic ability. 5'5 wife trying to keep up with 6' enthusiast husband on a bike is a bit different to sitting about in a cockpit pulling a rope now and then.

 

[Neeves]

But you just have.

To the OP, it’s not a truism, the woman I know who sail their own boats or sail with me, manage rough weather without complaint.

No - you categorised

I used the word 'you', which can refer to the you as being male or female. I mentioned crewing under a female skipper who might, or might not like heavy weather - you, the crew might be male of female.

I try to choose my words with some care

Jonathan

 

[PilotWolf]

Not sailing but my female crew always were the first up to watch bad weather.

W

 

[DJE]

As for 'the wife', she's as Happy as Larry.

Ah but you've got a rather special one there. So have I now that I come to think of it.

 

[oldgit]

Why, when I am out on my MoBo with my wife , do we see so many blokes alone or bloke only crews in sailing boats ?
Just asking .!

However as its me who lets go, helms,navigates, gets a turn coming back and rarely gets a cup of tea when undertaking these arduous tasks, might as well boat alone anyway.
Its also me that can be found down in the greasy bits of the boat and wielding (with some dexterity) the hoover.

 

[dom]

Ah but you've got a rather special one there. So have I now that I come to think of it.

Indeed, I remember turning into L'Aber-Wrac'h in a blowy NW, opting to eat some oysters instead of heading off down into the foul tide running in the Chenal du Four.

The tide, or course, wasn't foul for those coming the other way , albeit bumpy and wet as you like. When out of the rain came your fair lady under No. 4 jib and positively flying ?

My contribution was to help you down a celebratory bottle of wine, then nearly fall out of my kayak on the way back to my boat ? And to cap it off, nearly missing the tide again next morning nursing a hangover!

Where would we be without girl power !!

 

[Daydream believer]

.My wife has always said that she does not like heavy weather
We had been stuck in Ostend for a month because SWMBO said it was too rough to go to Breskens & up the canals. BUT she volunteered to go in the RNSYC's old committee boat ( known as the "Pig" due to its rolly motion) It was for the Belgian National Dragon Championships. On the first day it was so rough the International race officer was on the cockpit floor sick as a dog. The wife , being a race officer at home, ran the race starts & flags as the 2 fishermen volunteering to helm the boat & assist did not know what to do.

On the return after the first race I asked her how on earth she could go out in such rough weather in a small boat ( It really was rough) & not sail with me to Breskens.
I had the biggest put down she has ever given me
"They were fishermen- THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WERE DOING"
She does not sail with me anymore.

 

[Robin]

I have occasionally referenced mine jokingly but actually she is a real gem and has never actually deducted said nookie points which in her case would be like cutting off her nose to spite her face. Sometimes you just get lucky, which I did big time 34 year ago!

With reference to being shouted at she also knows the time to get concerned about a 'situation' is when I go very quiet....