Disbelief

[NornaBiron]

Why, when a member posts a thread is it assumed that it is a troll? Why does human nature make us so doubtful, when being the opposite would not hurt us in any way but may help the individual tremendously. So what if we answer a nonsensical thread with genuine comments, it has no affect on us but may help someone out there, be generous with your knowledge and skills, you may need someone to help you one day.

 

[Reverend Ludd]

I don't know to be honest.
Sad really.

 

[BrianH]

I too was staggered by some of the responses to the post you refer to. If anyone could not detect a genuine plea for help in such a detailed report albeit slightly incoherent, understandable from the stress level, then there is something lacking in their judgement and empathy ability.

And no, I am not gullible, I successfully ran a distributorship all over the world for an international company and had to assess applications and sales performances; I soon learned how to suss out fraudsters - there were plenty.

You correctly advised on the relevant thread - if in doubt, shut up, don't make it worse for the potentially sincere OP.

 

[little_roundtop]

Me too!

We are all perfectly well aware, when this sort of thing happens and one party makes a plea for help, that we are hearing only one side of the story. That however is irrelevant, we are not being asked to judge the rights and wrongs of the situation they find themselves in, we are simply being asked to help point them in the right direction to sort the problem for themselves.

I now seriously wonder whether many of the posters on here are nothing more than weekend coastal sailors (despite the name of this board)? Their responses are certainly not familiar to those of us who do live-aboard and who offer help whenever we can and whenever we are asked. "One day it might be me" is the mantra that we live by, and I know that may other real live-aboards do too.

My father used to tell me that "if you have nothing useful to say, then say nothing".

No doubt this post will attract the usual abuse........

Tony Cross

 

[chinita]

I agree with all of the comments above.

However, there are some weird people out there who delight in grasping 'sympathy' and attention. Given the fact that this was the first post from the OP there was bound to be a degree of suspicion.

Although not related to the net, I was once working as a Samaritan volunteer in Soho. At about 5am I had a call from an 18 year old girl who told me she was in a hospice dying of cancer, only weeks to live. I listened for over two hours and was devastated at her story.

For a week I suffered before I went to my Leader and told him about it.

He said that she was a regular caller who had entrapped many with her stories in the past.

How do you explain that? I can't.

 

[Reverend Ludd]

I agree with all of the comments above.

However, there are some weird people out there who delight in grasping 'sympathy' and attention. Given the fact that this was the first post from the OP there was bound to be a degree of suspicion.

Although not related to the net, I was once working as a Samaritan volunteer in Soho. At about 5am I had a call from an 18 year old girl who told me she was in a hospice dying of cancer, only weeks to live. I listened for over two hours and was devastated at her story.

For a week I suffered before I went to my Leader and told him about it.

He said that she was a regular caller who had entrapped many with her stories in the past.

How do you explain that? I can't.

That's sad as well.
I bet they don't teach you to ask unsubtle questions and pick holes in a callers story do they.

I thought when I read through the posts that someone was maybe having issues and it was of course possible it was the OP. That went away in my mind when the OP on this thread said they were friends.

 

[Poignard]

No doubt this post will attract the usual abuse........

No - it's been two hours now and no abuse. Obviously not controversial enough. Try mentioning blue ensigns or the EU.

 

[Tranona]

Why, when a member posts a thread is it assumed that it is a troll? Why does human nature make us so doubtful, when being the opposite would not hurt us in any way but may help the individual tremendously. So what if we answer a nonsensical thread with genuine comments, it has no affect on us but may help someone out there, be generous with your knowledge and skills, you may need someone to help you one day.

As I suggested in the original thread, only one side is being presented, just as your support is only one sided. Human nature makes us so doubtful because of human nature.

There are ALWAYS at least two sides to a story - if there were not, there would not be any disputes. Because there are many situations where the parties have not beeen able to resolve their dispute, society has built up a number of mechanisms to help resolution. The framework of the law often makes it very clear who is "right" and who is "wrong", but inevitably some of the evidence will come from the parties, whose accounts may not agree, so at some point an independent court may be needed to decide on the issue. However, this is costly and long winded, and there are many other less formal mechanisms available to help the parties which might be explored before going to the court. Maybe the other party in this dispute has already tried that and it has not worked, so has decided to use the courts unilaterally - which will force the OP to make their case.

It is quite normal for individuals to have sympathy with others, particularly if they identify with them, but unless they have complete knowledge of the other party's position, all one can do is to offer advice that may help in seeking a resolution. This does not mean turning ones back on the problem, it is just recognising that it is not your problem.

 

[Tintin]

It's easy to say the courts will sort it out, but courts and lawyers cost money that the person may not have.

What is stunning about the thread in question is how there is the assumption from some that there is no smoke without fire.

I have found this to be the opinion of magistrates in our court system, and have sufferred the consequences.

It is a shame that we always want to believe the worst about people.

 

[jordanbasset]

It's easy to say the courts will sort it out, but courts and lawyers cost money that the person may not have.

What is stunning about the thread in question is how there is the assumption from some that there is no smoke without fire.

I have found this to be the opinion of magistrates in our court system, and have sufferred the consequences.

It is a shame that we always want to believe the worst about people.

Agree and I assume you would extend this to both sides of the dispute

 

[NornaBiron]

As I suggested in the original thread, only one side is being presented, just as your support is only one sided. Human nature makes us so doubtful because of human nature.

There are ALWAYS at least two sides to a story - if there were not, there would not be any disputes. Because there are many situations where the parties have not beeen able to resolve their dispute, society has built up a number of mechanisms to help resolution. The framework of the law often makes it very clear who is "right" and who is "wrong", but inevitably some of the evidence will come from the parties, whose accounts may not agree, so at some point an independent court may be needed to decide on the issue. However, this is costly and long winded, and there are many other less formal mechanisms available to help the parties which might be explored before going to the court. Maybe the other party in this dispute has already tried that and it has not worked, so has decided to use the courts unilaterally - which will force the OP to make their case.

It is quite normal for individuals to have sympathy with others, particularly if they identify with them, but unless they have complete knowledge of the other party's position, all one can do is to offer advice that may help in seeking a resolution. This does not mean turning ones back on the problem, it is just recognising that it is not your problem.

I agree with all that you say. Due to the nature of this forum we are only ever presented with one side of the story. We are not being asked to judge the merits of the case in the original thread, just to point the OP in the direction of someone that may be able to help.

I treat this forum as a place to get advice and support and to swap ideas. Therefore my stance is that if I cannot add anything constructive or supportive then it is better for all concerned that I say nothing. Others seem to treat many posts suspiciously and ridicule them. Several times since joining this forum I have been tempted to leave and never look again due to the derogatory comments that are made on some threads. At times I have wanted to post a thread to ask for advice but judging from some peoples comments I have decided that I won't bother. I am sure that I am not alone in thinking this.

I agree wholeheartedly with Little Roundtop - if you have nothing constructive to say, say nothing.

 

[simon barefoot]

I agree with you all, we have only seen one side of the situation, but most of us have given reasonable advice and/or condolences.

Why was this a first post? Why not? Maybe the OP just doesn't 'do' forums, maybe they were pointed this way in their hour of need. That doesn't, or shouldn't lessen their sincerity.

As for the other side... maybe they're on a relevant forum right now, based on how they percieve the situation?

Who knows, but if someone appeals to me for help, and I can do so, then I will. Someone else can judge. Probably a judge in this case?

To the doubters...Happy Christmas, remember?

 

[rotrax]

Why, when a member posts a thread is it assumed that it is a troll? Why does human nature make us so doubtful, when being the opposite would not hurt us in any way but may help the individual tremendously. So what if we answer a nonsensical thread with genuine comments, it has no affect on us but may help someone out there, be generous with your knowledge and skills, you may need someone to help you one day.

Hi, Along time ago a very worldly wise self made man told me that I would do well to follow the following advice-"Believe nothing you hear and only half of what you see". As an optimist who likes to see the best in people and events its hard for me to do so, but many times I have wished I had!

 

[Sandyman]

Why, when a member posts a thread is it assumed that it is a troll?

Happened to me. Made a post where I mistook a phone number for an incident number.
Before you knew it I was a troll & those without fault spent ages trying to prove it was not just an error on my behalf. Best to just ignore them.

To answer your question, I believe its fear of being ridiculed should someone make a genuine post to a thread which turns out to be bogus.