tome
New member
Which is your favourite hooligan?
Delia Smith v Jamie Oliver
- Thread starter tome
- Start date
iangrant
New member
Bloody hell you must be bored, no ships to talk to?
Ian
Ian
Lakesailor
New member
I'd pay to see that fight. Could go either way.
iangrant
New member
iangrant
New member
Sorry - the tears are running down me face - from that site, a few tips:
Tammie
Dear Tammie:
A couple of things you need to be aware of.
Women do not have hair on their hands or knuckles, and if they do, they remove it.
Keep your nails clean and the edges smooth. Clean Nails are critical.
Their is a subtle difference in looking at your nails, observe a woman she will hold her hand out, palm down, to observe her nails, where a guy will curl his fingers around forward with palm up. It is a subtle difference, but a noticeable one.
DO NOT under any circumstance stick you nails in your mouth, at any time, for any reason, especially out in public.
Get rid of dry scaly skin, exfoliate your hands as you would your skin. This means taking a buff puff, and scrubbing the tops of your hands and putting on a moisturizer while hands are still wet. Slip on some cotton gloves for a few hours and your hands and nails will appreciate it and look much better.
Keep your cuticles pushed back, best to do after a shower when they are wet, just push them back with your towel. They will learn to be trained to stay back. Never cut them. Keep nails buffed and cared for. Treat yourself to a manicure, not uncommon at all these days for a man to have manicured nails.
If you want long length for an evening or week-end out, Sami's Closet has a great set of nails, especially styled for the larger hand. With long nails, your hands will look smaller in comparison. It is again the "minds eye", if that eye, sees long nails on a large hand, the mind says female with large hands.
When out, observe women and see just what it is they do with their hands. Observe and imitate their hand movements. If you smoke, women hold a cigarette differently than a man, observe this as well.
Good luck, and if there is anything we can do to help do not hesitate to contact us, but do take a look at those nails, they do make a difference.
Oh stop,
Ian
Tammie
Dear Tammie:
A couple of things you need to be aware of.
Women do not have hair on their hands or knuckles, and if they do, they remove it.
Keep your nails clean and the edges smooth. Clean Nails are critical.
Their is a subtle difference in looking at your nails, observe a woman she will hold her hand out, palm down, to observe her nails, where a guy will curl his fingers around forward with palm up. It is a subtle difference, but a noticeable one.
DO NOT under any circumstance stick you nails in your mouth, at any time, for any reason, especially out in public.
Get rid of dry scaly skin, exfoliate your hands as you would your skin. This means taking a buff puff, and scrubbing the tops of your hands and putting on a moisturizer while hands are still wet. Slip on some cotton gloves for a few hours and your hands and nails will appreciate it and look much better.
Keep your cuticles pushed back, best to do after a shower when they are wet, just push them back with your towel. They will learn to be trained to stay back. Never cut them. Keep nails buffed and cared for. Treat yourself to a manicure, not uncommon at all these days for a man to have manicured nails.
If you want long length for an evening or week-end out, Sami's Closet has a great set of nails, especially styled for the larger hand. With long nails, your hands will look smaller in comparison. It is again the "minds eye", if that eye, sees long nails on a large hand, the mind says female with large hands.
When out, observe women and see just what it is they do with their hands. Observe and imitate their hand movements. If you smoke, women hold a cigarette differently than a man, observe this as well.
Good luck, and if there is anything we can do to help do not hesitate to contact us, but do take a look at those nails, they do make a difference.
Oh stop,
Ian
boatmike
Well-known member
Difficult to choose really. I think Jamie Oliver knows more about cooking but I would not invite either to tea with the vicars wife....
jimi
Well-known member
Well I would'nt give Jamie one but after a few pints Delia might be in luck!
tome
New member
No it's quiet here today and I can't seem to get stuck into the exciting report which I should be writing. Might do some light parts ordering to assuage my guilt and then a pint on the way home as K is working late again. Nice site BTW, though I couldn't see the nipple patches in my colour.
tome
New member
see Dear Delia
jimi
Well-known member
Can't see what 's wrong with that!
boatmike
Well-known member
After a few pints she might even let you......
Goodge
Member
After a drunken night in Chichester Harbour we returned to the boat and attempted to cook.
At the time we wondered if we could challenge Jamie Oliver to cook a meal on a boat.
Of course we never got round to inviting him but we wondered if he could make cooking 3 courses look so bloody easy whilst bashing to windward. No fray Bentos allowed !
Bit more difficult than cooking a Sunday roast for Jamiriqui and his pals.
Sorry, I don't think Delia wouldn't even accept the invite.
At the time we wondered if we could challenge Jamie Oliver to cook a meal on a boat.
Of course we never got round to inviting him but we wondered if he could make cooking 3 courses look so bloody easy whilst bashing to windward. No fray Bentos allowed !
Bit more difficult than cooking a Sunday roast for Jamiriqui and his pals.
Sorry, I don't think Delia wouldn't even accept the invite.
tome
New member
I had a 12 o'clock appointment today with Geoffrey, my beautician and life-style guru. He never did my cuticles, but did offer me a toke on his joint and only charges a tenner for a cut and dry.
iangrant
New member
Well, do you know dear, I found that Geoffry too brash and she could never get my colours right.
I've moved on from that bitch, but I cant tell you where, other than it is in Emsworth, in Queen Street.
Iona xx
I've moved on from that bitch, but I cant tell you where, other than it is in Emsworth, in Queen Street.
Iona xx
tome
New member
Cheeky wee strumpet, my office is in Queen Street as you well know. Here's Geoffrey with some of his red-head clients, you can see he's good.
Gunfleet
New member
<after a few pints> her or you?
Mirelle
N/A
The only solution for East Anglian football
Neither Ipswich nor Norwich can really support a Premiership side - they are too small.
Given the mutual antipathy between the two, they should merge and build a new stadium near the border between the two counties....
"Diss United" /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
Neither Ipswich nor Norwich can really support a Premiership side - they are too small.
Given the mutual antipathy between the two, they should merge and build a new stadium near the border between the two counties....
"Diss United" /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
iangrant
New member
Blimey - you see why I found a new beauty consultant!
Iona
Iona
JKay
New member
Hugh fernley whittington no more riverside cottage in the middle could do with a makeover /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
cheers Joe
cheers Joe
Habebty
Well-known member
Re: The only solution for East Anglian football
or Waveney Wanderers
or Waveney Wanderers
