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Guest
Guest
I recently did one or two pieces/articles for MBY magazine, and seeing as a few people hereabouts asked all about it, here's what happens in unexpurgated detail.
First off, the editor chap rings and says what he wants you to write about, if anything. Well, actually, that's a lie: Seeing as there are thousands of scribbling hacks, you have to ringup and say oh go on gissa job, unless you are GB Shaw or Dickens, in which case they might call first.
Some people asked if I get "approval" prior to publishing, and the answer to this is - oh dear me no. See, you can write a letter or an article, and they can cut it all about and make it say something else completely if they want. If I was a great writer, I would get in an awful huff about this, but in fact it's the editor's perogative and freedom of the press. Or perhaps my crappy writing.
Now, some people haev said that my writing style is different here from in the mags. And of course I do that On PURPOSE. Oh yes. Um, well, actually, not sure if there were a whole heap of gags to be made out of a Marseilles guidefrexample in the first place. Unless of course it was all a total lie, and the whole article was in fact not about marseilles at all, but somewhere else. Tee hee. Knowing that there was a reasonable risk of my doing this, they sent a photgrapher down to check that I had written about the right place. Most unsporting. The photographer took lots of pictuires all around town, then met up with me in the evening. I toldim that I thought that those bits were deathly dull and boring and planned to say so. Somewhat shocked and after rather a lot of wine, he spent the next day taking some other pictures.
Naturally, I find all about things in incredible detail, including comparative notes on the decor in restaurant toilets, the price of Olympique Marseille football shirts, and the various advantages of drinking all the drinks avaliable in all the bars in differing quantities, much like Cumberlidge, cept in a lot more fastidious detail. They studiously rip half of it out, tidy up the silliness and speling mistakes and so on, all of which is "sub-editing", I think.
Back at base, with the text now writ and emailed, they unpack take my carefully assembled bag of mangled bus tickets and a free city map with my scrawl on it, all sent by post seperetly, and somehow make a printable map with notes out of it. Unfortunately, mistakes can be made at this point, and although I don't want to be nasty, they accidentally forgot to include the location of the nearest fag shop which I am sure was clearly marked, as was the location (item 1!) of the nearest Macdonalds-with-nice cafe-opposite, a rather glaring omission which hopefully wasn't spotted by too many readers. Anyway I think the art person does this bit.
About two months after it was first sent, the editor might ring up and ask for it to be all sent over again, so it's very handy to have a computer company at your disposal to find all the old files on the computer before you had a new computer.
Anyway, that's that. Next thing it's in the mag. There's no "approval" from me cos I'm not the publisher, just provider of raw material namely some words nicked from the dictionary in a suggested possible sequence.
Folllowing the age-old tradition for anyone who gets anything published, first thing is to nip round to the old English teacher and rammit up their hooter. With these and other startup costs, one is obviously eagerly anticipating the massive fame and possible sale of the film rights.
Oh and finally how much dya get paid? Well, if you have a powerboat, it's probly best to keep the day job. If you sendem a short letter, and get a bottle of balvenie, that seems quite good rate. But of course, if they paid fortunes, then nobody would be able to afford the mag, maybe?
First off, the editor chap rings and says what he wants you to write about, if anything. Well, actually, that's a lie: Seeing as there are thousands of scribbling hacks, you have to ringup and say oh go on gissa job, unless you are GB Shaw or Dickens, in which case they might call first.
Some people asked if I get "approval" prior to publishing, and the answer to this is - oh dear me no. See, you can write a letter or an article, and they can cut it all about and make it say something else completely if they want. If I was a great writer, I would get in an awful huff about this, but in fact it's the editor's perogative and freedom of the press. Or perhaps my crappy writing.
Now, some people haev said that my writing style is different here from in the mags. And of course I do that On PURPOSE. Oh yes. Um, well, actually, not sure if there were a whole heap of gags to be made out of a Marseilles guidefrexample in the first place. Unless of course it was all a total lie, and the whole article was in fact not about marseilles at all, but somewhere else. Tee hee. Knowing that there was a reasonable risk of my doing this, they sent a photgrapher down to check that I had written about the right place. Most unsporting. The photographer took lots of pictuires all around town, then met up with me in the evening. I toldim that I thought that those bits were deathly dull and boring and planned to say so. Somewhat shocked and after rather a lot of wine, he spent the next day taking some other pictures.
Naturally, I find all about things in incredible detail, including comparative notes on the decor in restaurant toilets, the price of Olympique Marseille football shirts, and the various advantages of drinking all the drinks avaliable in all the bars in differing quantities, much like Cumberlidge, cept in a lot more fastidious detail. They studiously rip half of it out, tidy up the silliness and speling mistakes and so on, all of which is "sub-editing", I think.
Back at base, with the text now writ and emailed, they unpack take my carefully assembled bag of mangled bus tickets and a free city map with my scrawl on it, all sent by post seperetly, and somehow make a printable map with notes out of it. Unfortunately, mistakes can be made at this point, and although I don't want to be nasty, they accidentally forgot to include the location of the nearest fag shop which I am sure was clearly marked, as was the location (item 1!) of the nearest Macdonalds-with-nice cafe-opposite, a rather glaring omission which hopefully wasn't spotted by too many readers. Anyway I think the art person does this bit.
About two months after it was first sent, the editor might ring up and ask for it to be all sent over again, so it's very handy to have a computer company at your disposal to find all the old files on the computer before you had a new computer.
Anyway, that's that. Next thing it's in the mag. There's no "approval" from me cos I'm not the publisher, just provider of raw material namely some words nicked from the dictionary in a suggested possible sequence.
Folllowing the age-old tradition for anyone who gets anything published, first thing is to nip round to the old English teacher and rammit up their hooter. With these and other startup costs, one is obviously eagerly anticipating the massive fame and possible sale of the film rights.
Oh and finally how much dya get paid? Well, if you have a powerboat, it's probly best to keep the day job. If you sendem a short letter, and get a bottle of balvenie, that seems quite good rate. But of course, if they paid fortunes, then nobody would be able to afford the mag, maybe?
