crime

powerskipper

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just read on the stolen stuff forum that stuff is going missing off boats on the Medina, near the folly's.
got me thinking, who do you call, police, harbour authority's, not something I have come across and now am wondering.
what would you do if you came back to the boat and found someone nicking stuff!
 

plombier

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Let's just say that he/she/it would not be doing it again for some time. /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif

It's amazing how people who are not used to being on a boat become unsteady, loose their balance and fall down companionways. /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
 

Sammo

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Re: Round like a shot

On the mooring after saying goodnight to friends with wife turned in and fast asleep, I decided to go out onto the aft deck for a last glass of wine, when I noticed two shadowy figures trying to break into a boat further down the pontoon.
Immediately I phoned the police and told them what I had seen. Sorry, came the reply, we have no one available at the moment but we will send someone as soon as possible.
I hung up, then after a moments thought I rang again.
Hello, I said, I called you a moment ago because there were people breaking into a boat. Well just to let you know you don’t have to hurry now as I’ve shot them.
Within minutes all hell broke loose with 3 police cars an armed response unit and even a helicopter. They caught the robbers red handed.
Of course we were all out on the pontoon by this time.
One of the officers then came forward and asked, “Which one of you phoned then? Over here, says I, putting my hand up.
I thought you said you’d shot them, says he.
I thought you said there was no one available. Says I.



………..
thanks – Tony Gladstone.
 

BrendanS

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Re: Round like a shot

Plagiarism I suspect. Not sure how many I've heard this one, but at least several times a month for the past few years.
 

Sammo

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Re: Happy Now

To all
Re my last post

To anyone who has heard it before – My apologies . a reply is not necessary.

To anyone that hasn’t heard it – Enjoy


……….
should this be my new signature
 

BrendanS

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Re: Happy Now

You need to get on more email groups then ( I can just hear the howls and arguments now! <g> - but where do you think UA got it from), it's at least 10 years old. I wouldn't have minded, but posted more as fact than a funny, in which case I'd have excused it.
 

Solitaire

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Re: Happy Now

[ QUOTE ]
You need to get on more email groups then

[/ QUOTE ]

No thanks, I've got better things to do with my time! Anyway,this lunatic asylum is more than enough for me. /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
 

studgies

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Hampshire Police Marine unit PAH!! Boat broken into twice tender stolen once, called marine unit on all 3 occasions, average response time.................never had one not one police officer ever came on water or by foot, each occassion they promised someone would be there and only on one occassion did I get a scenes of Crime officer 4 days later.

When I called to chase each time there was suddenly a big eace on somewhere and they were covering (watching) it! All of there incidents happened last summer over a 5 month period, ordering a proper alarm for the new boat arriving but the mooring security has also been upgraded recently.

Rant over.
 

cliff

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[ QUOTE ]
Wouldn't bother phoning police, just not worth it. I'd just beat them until bones broke. They wouldn't do it again for a while.

[/ QUOTE ]Nor lad would you. Apart from that is watching your back in the prison shower and definitely not bending down for the soap. As the law stands you would be charged and convicted of Assault with the intent of causing GBH, Causing GBH and as you said you would not stop until bones broke, assault with a deadly weapon (winch handle?) or is that what they call aggravated assault?. On top of that the perp would sue you for mental anguish, pain and suffering , disability etc etc and you could lose everything.

No, in this day and age the criminal wins every time and you, if you lay so much as a finger on him, get screwed.

I am in favour of taking the perp for a wee sail about 10 miles off shore and making him/her walk the plank - "Sorry Officer - must have fallen overboard when I wasn't looking."
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