Crap cars NB sort of

[ChrisE]

1. VW beetle
2. Austin Allegro
3. Morris Marina
4. Lada Riva
5. Bond Bug
6. Reliant Robin
7. Trabant
8. MGB

Source: Crap cars published today.

Crap boat list?

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[jimi]

hey hey hey hey hang on a sec Buttmeister General .. you've got to give us 6 criteria to just 'em by

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[ChrisE]

I assume my little scottish chum you mean judge them by?

Well, if I was going to be provocative I'd state my list, light the blue touchpaper and retire. I wasn't going but what the hell....

1. Pwc
2. All other stinkies
3. Erm, can't think of any others

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[KevB]

Titanic. Couldn't even complete it's maiden voyage.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://static.photobox.co.uk/public/images/45/99/10714599.s.jpg?ch=97&rr=16:00:39>Nirvana</A>

 

[jimi]

A that's only 3 .. and I see you've neatly excluded really crap boats like Rivals (unless someone's just let one go in the saloon, in which case it might be a stinky depending on the quality of offering) cos they're not fast enough to be PWC.

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[jimi]

Rubbish .. Celine Dion maaged to finish singing before it sank ... and any way if it was built in Belfast but departed from Southampton so the voyage from Belfast to Southampton must have been the maiden yin .. unless it was airfreighted across of course

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[jhr]

6 criteria

Country of construction (hint: France=nil)
Canned meat pie capacity
Pig-ugly quotient (measured in “Prouts” /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif)
Knicker elastic-snapping range (km)
Desirability (measured in “Swans”. Typical ratings: HR/Oyster type thing = 0.7 Swan, Modern French mass market craft = 0.2 Swan. You get the idea)
Fridge storage space in cu. Mtrs

Add ‘em up, divide by the number of virgins in Pompey. Hey presto! Foolproof crap boat scoring system. Patent applied for.


<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[jhr]

Back to the drawing board

...have just realised that the final step in the above calculation means that all craft will come out with a CB rating of zero.

I'm going to have to think this through a bit more.

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[ChrisE]

You asked for it

now, now, oh rudderless one, pot kettle, stones glasshouses. I'm not getting drawn by that.






Other than to say Rivals wouldn't be on my list, mais les autres, peut-etre

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[jimi]

Re: Back to the drawing board

Whats wrong with all you eedjeets today .. if yo divide by zero you get infinity!

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[Ohdrat]

Re: Celine Dion

I reckon it'd have been a better boat if it had sunk before she started singing

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[jhr]

Re: Back to the drawing board

I never was any good at maths. At least, that was my defence when the Inland Revenue took me to court. The principle still stands, however, unless all boats are to be considered as infinitely crap. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[jimi]

Re: Celine Dion

Again, i feel you have posted in a needlessly petulant and bitchy fashion. Celine is a comely young maiden with a wonderful singing voice, she can get her tongue round my vowels any dark night!

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[jfm]

titanic - not maiden voyage

It stopped in Cobh, Cork Harbour too. So the transat was at least its third voyage. So, a more durable ship than the history books will have you believe.....

 

[Beagle]

Re: 6 criteria

shouldn't that be ex-virgins?

<hr width=100% size=1>Never attempt to teach a pig to sing.
It is a waste of time and it annoys the pig.

 

[Ohdrat]

Re: Celine Dion

mmm but you're a man.. only to be expected that you find caterwalling gringa attractive.. I have severe doubts about your taste anyway so I'm hardly surprised!

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[ChrisE]

I'm a tad bit surprised not to have seen a post by a Beetle or MGB lover. But there we go, sailing in those French tubs must have rotted their brains

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[jhr]

I suspect there are nearly as many Beetle and MGB lovers as there are virgins in Pompey....................

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[Ohdrat]

I suspect that MGB and Beetle drivers would be sailing a Rival.. old and classic!

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[Beagle]

Quote: But there we go, sailing in those French tubs must have rotted their brains

Hmmm, must inform Clive about this new hunting game. Shoot a CE!

<hr width=100% size=1>Never attempt to teach a pig to sing.
It is a waste of time and it annoys the pig.