Could I be allergic to women? (non boatie)

  • Thread starter Thread starter Deleted member 478
  • Start date Start date
D

Deleted member 478

Guest
There I was, at the boozer when a particularly fine specimen sauntered across my field of vision resulting in an interrupted flow of natural speech. The other symptoms I suffered were:
* Dribbling out of both corners of my mouth (at least I am level headed),
* Retinas like a raped owl,
* An uncontrollable urge to stare,
* A need to ride a jetski,
* An unexplained desire to have children so powerful that I believe I now want children.

Panel, is this normal or should I have another beer and drink it really fast?



<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.stingo.co.uk>http://www.stingo.co.uk</A> <font color=blue>- still showing at a computer near you</font color=blue>
 
Think it was Jimmie and I think she said something about Siberia but I couldn't be sure.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.stingo.co.uk>http://www.stingo.co.uk</A> <font color=blue>- still showing at a computer near you</font color=blue>
 
We used to have an expression for this syndrome which was not very polite, and if used here would get me Kimmed off the board faster than a SAM homing in on Airforce One.

The usual cure was talk about cars, soccer, and beer whilst drinking large amounts of the latter.

Now I'm 'more mature', the pleasure comes from contemplation rather than consumation.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>
 
"Now I'm 'more mature', the pleasure comes from contemplation rather than consumation".

Well I freely admit I'll lie down with anyone who offers, however this doesn't bother the wife too much as she's fairly confident there will be no offers, what's worse is that I think she's right.


<hr width=100% size=1>John
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.allgadgets.co.uk>http://www.allgadgets.co.uk</A>
 
Keep drinking the beer . . .

It heightens the desire . . . But lessens the ability . . .

Should keep you out of too much trouble . . .

<hr width=100% size=1>
 
Your behaviour is perfectly normal, but you will have noticed that women usually start backing away when they notice you. This means, sadly, that although you are not allergic to women, they are allergic to you. See Ken's post for the recommended cure.

<hr width=100% size=1>
 
Sounds more like an addiction than an allergy.. you could try cold turkey ..

<hr width=100% size=1>
 
I have never considered a cold turkey instead of a woman, however am prepared to try anything once!!

Normal reaction Stingo although I'm not sure about the jetski???
Brian

<hr width=100% size=1>
 
Re: Cold Turkey

Will almost certainly (except in the extremely deviant) cure the "unexplained desire to have children so powerful that I believe I now want children."

<hr width=100% size=1>
 
Re: Cold Turkey

A few hours have now passed and I've realised that the unexplained desire to have children was simply a case of me being prepared to father her children with no obligations or commitment.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.stingo.co.uk>http://www.stingo.co.uk</A> <font color=blue>- still showing at a computer near you</font color=blue>
 
Re: Cold Turkey

Assuming she actually wants your children, exactly much preparation did you do?

<hr width=100% size=1>
 
Re: Cold Turkey

Lots of preparation - had a couple more pints and talked about it with my mates. Were you expecting me to pluck up the courage to actually go and talk to her? Yeh right - I am sure her response would have included words like Zimmerframe and receding hairline.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.stingo.co.uk>http://www.stingo.co.uk</A> <font color=blue>- still showing at a computer near you</font color=blue>
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Top