Confessions, worst bodge ever

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I spent yesterday tryinjg to sort out a lazzerette that kept taking in water, finally tracked it down to the fact that the trim tab rams had been "fitted" through the hull not with bolts but self tapping screws!!!

It got me thinking about the worst bodge/temporary repair I had ever done which was on my fathers boat about a hundred miles out from Corfu, we lost the engine because the bleed screw on the fuel lift pump sheared. After much swearing and head scratching I mixed up some International Interfill (two part epoxy filler) and slapped a big dollop over the hole, waited an hour for it to go off and then tried the engine, she fired up first time!! So we carried on to Messina vowing to get a replacement pump as soon as possible. When we finally sold the yacht six years later it was still there!

So I feel better for having confessed, anybody else got something to come clean about?

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Dave_Snelson

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Worst bodge ever? Doesn't come close mate!!

Years ago (teenage years ago!) my friend's father had a black Austin Cambridge which had just failed its MOT. Usual thing - mechanic sticks his screwdriver through the latticework that was once a chassis.

Now my friend's father was almost deaf (yes, its relevent - stick with the story) so one day we both jump into the Cambridge (he can't hear his car pulling off the drive) and drove it off to a building site where we kind of knew the gang of builders. They had a concrete pump. We asked them if they would mind hosing in a load of concrete into the chassis - as much as could fit in. They thought this idea was hilarious, almost as hilarious as the audacious teenagers driving about in a Cambridge.

The deed was done and we drove it back (he can't hear the car pulling on to the drive). The following day we painted the underseal on and told my friends father that we had fixed it. Now given that my friends father regularly drove wrecks, and inspite of being a senior manager at Shell, didn't see the point in spending money on new cars, he went off to get the car re-tested.

Result? Pass. The old chap never could figure out how an atrocious handling wreck, had sudenly got markedly worse - and so much heavier to steer????

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apollo

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My father upgraded his tired old Morris 1000 in a Elysian 27 to a Ford 2000 out of a Cortina for a bit more speed back in the early eighties.

While he was trying to get the new clutch plate to stay in place long enough to bolt it on, he used a bit of superglue to hold it on (well quite a lot actually).

Problem is the superglue grabed straightaway but NOT with the bolt holes showing.

It grabbed so much that he couldnt release it even with a chisel and hammer.

The only option was to leave it there, fit the gearbox and try it.

Six years later (and a channel crossing), it was still like that when we sold it.

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oldgit

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How about using araldite to block up big gap in water channels on aluminium hillman imp cylinder head.Was still working when I sold it 2 years later.

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aztec

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jaguar xj6 main bearings shells fitted to a 2.6 lagonda engine...

nothing too untoward there?.. it's suposed to have hand finished white metal/lead bearings!

needed some machining to the bearing holders but worked a treat.


OH! nearly forgot!!. phill colins managers car... buick straight eight.. four litre thing... ran like a piece of s**t... got a mate to cut out the shape of the manifold (inlet and exhaust) and handbuilt the manifolds using four inch and a half SU's with chrome pankakes on... looked cool and went greased weasel poo.

then there was the time when we bought an old air cooled V8 duetz lorry... one of the main bearings had been run.... dropped the sump worked away with a micrometer and oilstone... fitted two undersize shell and the thing ran like that for the next 2 years!!


right anyone need any jobs done on the boat??

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BarryH

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Gaffer tape, egg whites and ribena drink.........I'm not saying anymore!

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capsco

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Always thought self tappers with proper sealant was the recomended fixing for trim tabs, then if one got pulled off, the resulting holes would not be so big as to sink the ship...????

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capsco

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re Russel Brenton

Always thought self tappers with proper sealant was the recomended fixing for trim tabs, then if one got pulled off, the resulting holes would not be so big as to sink the ship...????

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Not sure that I agree and especially not in this case as there was no sealant and worse the holes had been drilled out to take bolts but then just had a screw wound in barely biting on the edges, pure laziness!

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tripleace

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selling compressors in the 70's to the middle east.

My grand father was "reconditioning" an egine which had a crack block.

the overhaul / reconditioning was...

Putty in the crack and a repaint plus rad weld in huge quanties.

main bearing taken out and made a size smaller with the help of a fag packet!!!!

oh yes, the oil guage needle was "adjusted" to read correctly

two years later the arab came back and said that all the compressors he had bought were crap except the one that had been reconditioned!!!! He demanded that all the future ones he bought were reconditioned.


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jimi

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Reminds me of an old school friend who in his last year at school funded his substance abuse fund by peddling oxo cubes disguised as cannabis to the local youth .. was chased through Kilmarnock by a large brickie and when cornered and preparing to meet his maker was flummoxed by a request for "More of that stuff .. its the best yet!"

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andyball

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Tp prove to a friend that his wandering autopilot was due only to play in the rudder linkage, I packed out a loose key/slot in the rudderstock with bacofoil ,used quantities of bearing fit & bunged it back together -the only thing holding it otherwise was a couple of grub screws, only one of which bit into the stock-all this on a 44' motorsailer.

It proved my point about the autopilot....so well that the owner never got round to getting it fixed properly & even after backing into a shingle bank at speed + several hard groundings it was still holding just fine. He's since sailed it all the way to Las Palmas from uk, so if it's not loose by now I'll be amazed.

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tcm

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sorry russell, i call that "fixing it". I daren't go into all the bodges i have done, cos almost everything i do involves a bodge of some sort or another. I had just written down a few in this post but had to delete them...

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Bergman

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Many years ago I had the misfortune to own a VW Deviant er sorry Variant estate car - engine under rear floor of the estate.

Out one Sunday with SWMBO, her best friend and her boyfriend.

Somewhere in depths of Yorkshire dales throttle cable breaks.

Found a short length of binder twine which I tied to throttle lever, borrowed ring from SWMBO's friend to improvise a pulley

Borrowed SWMBO's tights tied to end of binder twine and passed over rear seat between passengers and used left hand for throttle, SWMBO changed gear. The boy friend was not impressed by gusset passing over his shoulder, but he declined the offer to let him walk.

Amazingly managed to get home in one piece

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Wiggo

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A truck driver friend of mine had a broken throttle cable on a 40 foot artic round Brum on a rainy Friday. Rather than wait hours for the repair crew, he jury rigged a throttle cable from string, passed out through the radiator grille and through the cab window. Worked fine, but the draught and the rain were a pain, so he tied it off on the wing mirror and shut the window, once up to speed.

Fine for the next 100 miles, till he came up the exit ramp at High Wycombe and couldn't work out why the brakes were so ineffective...

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hlb

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Once got comandered to be test pilot for my mates new boat. Took it to windermere. Was doing quite well with me on wheel and pulling a piece of string for the throttle and another mate with the mole grips on the gear leaver. Came to put it back on the trailer and decided I needed a bit of wumph to overcome the side wind. Then realised, was going a bit fast so shouts for mate to put in reverse. He did not hear. So I turned round and he was sat on the back admiring the view instead of being ready with the mole grips. Result was a very big hole and a lot of ribbing back at the local!!

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