Claymore - Aromatic old hog

[jimi]

Claymore's fine Aga cooker oft produces fine maple dry cured bacon sandwiches, which, with a few mushrooms tomatoes and dollops of HP's finest sets the day up well for Claymore and Dear Heart. However, there is a problem , namely the aromatics , firstly the fine scent wafting gently over the margins of the western ocean drive less fortunate mariners to murder and the midges to a feeding frenzy, secondly Dear Heart's bowels, being of a gentewomanly nature, respond viciously to this unaccustomed assault and she can't stop farting. Normally this isn't a problem as Claymore sends her out to mend a dinghy or go up the cherrypicker to sort the furling gear or look out for pirates but this year the boat is going to be fully sorted before it is relaunched thus meaning no excuses to get Dear Fart out of the conservatory.

How can Claymore resolve this difficult situation?

 

[Helina]

There is only one sensible solution; Claymore have to give his SWMBO resin oil - then she doesn't dare to fart ! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[Sgeir]

I have been privileged to meet the aforementioned DearHeart, and I find your suggestion that she farts to be, not only improper, but, quite erroneous.

I am Sir,
Yours etc

Sgeir

Glen Bowelmovement Lodge
The Driveway
Claymore-VonEberspächer Estate
Argyll

 

[Aja]

Only action to be taken is for Claymore to stand outside the conservatory wearing plenty of midgie repellant and let her get on with it.

Better out than in I always say.


Donald

 

[Aja]

Managed to track down the day Claymore and Dearheart finished the Tobermory Race for the CCC. We all thought at first - stupidly - that it was the finish gun.

We all now know better....

Volume Up!!!!

Donald

 

[cliff]

Liked the one about 38secs into the clip and again at 1:10 - ooooh, aaaah bet (s)he can see better after that /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
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