Chentleman's Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

[claymore]

Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

The Chentleman's Cruise 2005 will depart kilmelfort pontoon on the last Thursday Evening in April unless we get waylaid in which case we'll be aff oan the friday.
We'll be back on the Monday.
Signed up so far are:
Jimi
Para
LongJohnSadler
Claymore
Claymore's mate Muzzy - late Coxn of the Fleetwood lifeboat (and occasional lurker I'm led to believe)

Webcraft has signalled intention to participate (unless they close the barrage at Balvicar again)
Anyone else around then fancying a few days of refined company, gentle humour, the odd libation and Para's finest ribsticking stew make your mark below.

 

[longjohnsilver]

The grim reaper

Bloody hell Claysie, that takes the biscuit, taking a dear departed friend on a cruise. Does your late coxn now reside in an urn? Suppose he won't be needing a berth. Still bizarre, all the same.

 

[StugeronSteve]

Re: The grim reaper

No, he's a late coxwain cos, the boat's always left before he gets there.

 

[Ohdrat]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

I am as usual about a month behind with EVERYTHING... If I am not afloat.. probably sunk under EVERYTHING .. if you don't decide to aim for St Kilda / Rockall are you meeting in pub somewhere.. If you ply me with enuf drink I might confess! /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

 

[ParaHandy]

Re: The grim reaper

I think it disgraceful of you that you show so little respect for our so nearly dearly departed friend, muzzy, who set off, alone, in a dinghy, to comunicate our plight to the wider world from our anchorage somewhere in scotland for which we knew not where as our satellite guidance device had inexplicably failed and, after travelling not much further than the limit of my camera's zoom lens, he inexplicably ran out of fuel and was seen to be desperately rowing in our direction until, inexplicably, the rowlocks flew off whether from his exertions I know not but his plight could not be more serious and I live to tell this tale due entirely to muzzy overcoming all these obstacles strewn in his path .... a shame on you, sir, you old parrot dropping ...

 

[claymore]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

Sweet thing
There is always room for a pretty young thing like yourself in Captain Claymore's Cabin
PS I borrowed 'your' ladder at Easter - hope it didn't feel the strain of having to cope with my nimble 13st

 

[jimi]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

if you're a mere 13 st then I'm friggin Vera Duckworth!

 

[claymore]

Dear Vera

I'm a shadow of my former self as I've taken up power walking.
The Hon Fred Taylor with whom I work reckons its more of a mince and has started wearing pink shirts in sympathy

 

[jimi]

Re: Dear Vera

excellent idea, how long's the lead or do you use a portable generator .. and erm .. where does the plug go?

 

[Ohdrat]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

My ladder???? didn't know I had one .. <Ohdrat checks stockings> Is the equivalent of saying your flies are down to a woman???


Do you invite sweet young things with ladders in their stockings into your cabin.. isn't this a bit risqué???

 

[claymore]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

Well , the basic underpinning philosophy of the chentlemans cruise is that it should be a voyage of personal as well as oceanic discovery. This should be viewed as a positive measure - even if its only to discover that there are things that you don't like - Para's farts, Jimis feet, cauliflower - that kind of thing.
So really a pretty young thing in Capain Claymore's Cabin would hopefully be a voyage of discovery for the Bold Captain as - with the exception of Dear Heart - who even by her own definition - is past the first flush of youth - I don't remember a pretty young thing being in there - unless of course you find Bruce attractive (which personally, I don't). Returning to the issue of your ladder - it was lying alongside Seun's props so I assumed it was yours and therefore assumed that you wouldn't mind me using it. I took my shoes off as a mark of respect and washed my hands regularly.

 

[ParaHandy]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

ah .... note the quote marks eg "your" ladder. the auld goat's forgotten whose ladder he's "borrowed" .... he's merely fishing for compliments as to his recent biomass reduction programme which is the first i've heard of it ...

 

[machurley22]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

Might I enquire about the proposed route?

Dave

 

[jimi]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

Well with a ladder it usually starts at the bottom and goes to the top unless you're already at the top in which case you go down to the bottom, hope that helps.

 

[machurley22]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

Thanks for that.

Claymore is clearly not the only certified educationalist on this cruise.

Dave

 

[webcraft]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - All Aboard

At what hour on the evening of the fateful Thursday is departure scheduled? We can probably demoor by 5pm latest and rendezvous at ra foot of LM, but where is the proposed destination and will we get there before the pub shuts? (late October in the case of the Craighouse Hotel I believe)

- Nick

 

[claymore]

Back Foot

I've left my tidal thingy up there and I can't remember which way it was going.
So from memory - I thought we could take drink on the first night on Kilmelford Jetty as wee jamesie and para will have had a fair journey.
No its no good - I can't remember but I think it was either North when the tide suits and take in the fleshpots of Tobers on Friday then if the weather is ok leg it up to somewhere like Loch Nevis and hit the Old Forge on Saturday
or across to Coll on Saturday
or down to Colonsay on Saturday then a quick lurk up West Loch Tarbert and round to somewhere like Port Askaig on Sunday
Then back up to Melfort on Monday
Or if we went South perhaps Craighouse on Saturday then wander down to Port Ellen on Sunday and back up to Melfort Monday
Or
if its horrible and we want to stay local we go south down to Craignish on the Friday then up to Oban on Saturday and down to Puilldobhran on Sunday
Or another option is
North on Friday then along the Ross of Mull to Tinkers or Bull hole and then circumcise Mull
Naturally anyone with any particularly strong desire to go somewhere will be accommodated - unless thats Jimi as its unlikely that we'll reach the Flannan Isles in the time available

 

[machurley22]

OK - You\'ve made your point..

.. it was a stupid question. I only asked since, while I'd love to cruise along (if you've room for a wee one bringing up the rear) I'm a daysail north of Kilmelfort pontoon and would be single-handed. A Thursday night departure to a distant southern port would not be very attractive therefore while a northerly course would make it much easier to rendezvous at some point.

High tide is at 0935 BST on Friday from memory.

Dave

 

[webcraft]

Re: Back Foot

Erm . . . I'll not bother putting in any waypoints then . . .

Looks like Big Jill the ships cat may be crewing for us in the forlorn hope of tracking down a chentleman, so be warned . . .

- Nick

 

[tcm]

Re: Chentleman\'s Cruise 2005 - not this time

unfortunately i can't make this important date. Howver, i feel sure that one day i will be be in the area saying "yeah, ok mr flipinn taxidriver, take me to Loccccccchh Melfort then. Oh, and can you tell me if there's a hotel called the Duke of Cumberland around here, hm? Or praps The Edward Longshanks? "