Boatone is Gay!

No Regrets

No Regrets

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Obviously, Tony is as hetrosexual as, er, Winston Churchill or Prince Phillip, but now I have your full and undivided attention:

What, pray tell, has happened to the lively banter we used to all enjoy?

Even Ramage is only posting serious stuff these days?

The forum is slipping, in comedy terms... :(

Could we please have a little more controversy? Somebody perhaps, dishing the dirt on a fellow boater, some past ingloriousnesses from otherwise impeccable forumites, or even some totally fabricated stuff for our entertainment?

C'mon guys? :(

p.s. Anybody see Richard Shead plying for business along the towpath last week?*






*No, please don't ban me, the season is young!!
 
"Boatone is Gay!" Must be some other B1

The one we all know and luv is just about the miserablitz olde curmugeon ever to grumble his way across the keyboard.

Watch this...............
There I was minding my own beeswax,cruising along in a sensible Medway manner passing through Henley,when this holligan swept past and firmly ran himself aground on a reef,noticing the flares going off and the flags notifying SOS at the mast head,I offered assistance.
The chap now keeps ringing me up asking for navigation advice. !
 
Ah well, we have been busy you see....

Alex, Marian & I went to TMYC on Sunday morning for the ATYC briefing on this years handling tests and a briefing on what is going on politically regarding the Thames.

In the afternoon we popped down to Bray. Alex took a brace and bit for a walk and when he came back he said:
"No Regrets" will not be able to win anything this year!"

It took ages to get the glassfibre dust out of his hair... I cannot imagine what he had been doing.

We took "Silver Dragon" out for a quick run. The river was so high we had to lower the burgee mast to get under the bridge & get out of the marina!

I have never seen the flow so fast. It certainly gave the engines a workout.
 
Ramage said:
Ah well, we have been busy you see....

Alex, Marian & I went to TMYC on Sunday morning for the ATYC briefing on this years handling tests and a briefing on what is going on politically regarding the Thames.
Click to expand...

Was anyone from the Fenders Up Cruising Club (FUCC) there?



(No Regrets......you mean stuff like this??)
 
Good stuff Gents, keep the good work up!

Now, where's B1? Blue Oyster Club?

I love the cockwaving bit 'We had to lower our Burgee mast....' Paul. Not only do you have such a device, but your Boat is SO large, it could actually foul the Bridge without lowering it!

Even Brayman (Public School, remember) couldn't top that!



Meanwhile, plans to refloat No Regrets seem to have been scuppered by a huge Osmotic blister having holed her hull!

Never seen such a clean break though, and what a blister! Must have been 6 inches! Perfectly round too.....

Strange??.....

Must have been exacerbated by some old tins of Rebellion Beer in the hull, they fell out when the blister exploded. 6 cans at least...
 
There most certainly was... in fact there were representatives there from 11 clubs!

I am afraid we neglected to lift our fenders upon leaving the marina, but as there was no-one else intrepid enough to be out we thought it permissible.

B1 mentioned the Mudway boaters when we were dining at the ATYC rally in August. It seems they have special adaptations for their environment such as webbed feet and six toes....

At least, that is what I think he said... :)
 
No Regrets said:
Meanwhile, plans to refloat No Regrets seem to have been scuppered by a huge Osmotic blister having holed her hull!

Never seen such a clean break though, and what a blister! Must have been 6 inches! Perfectly round too.....

Strange??.....

Must have been exacerbated by some old tins of Rebellion Beer in the hull, they fell out when the blister exploded. 6 cans at least...
Click to expand...

I warned you old Brooms were dodgy. The only reason Manxman has not sunk is that it is always aground!

Brayman has not been seen since the snow. He claimed to be stranded up a hill in the Chilterns and now there is a mountain of rusting beer cans in his garden.

Shirlian is now the home of a disgusting old river pikey who keeps shouting obscenities in Greek.

Oddly, Eileen says Byron has gone missing, but thinks he has just forgotten where he lives again.
 
OKk, on the advice of Manxman, I'm going to refloat No Regrets, leaving the hole intact.

He seems to think that with twin engines, I'm capable of keeping up a good 5 knots, as long as I don't stray too far from the bankside.

I trust him.

Bugger the antifouling too, as the bottom growth should be at least an inch thick, meaning I should be able to wear open toed sandals on the flybridge as long as the flow is normal.

Just about....
 
Is my boat still where I left it? We may go and look next weekend but I am seriously beginning to question whether I want to belong to a club where another member sees fit to cast aspidistras on my extra curricula activities and at the same time publicly boasts of a 6" perfectly reamed hole in his bum ......... :-(

I am wondering why I have not yet been called to give evidence to the Chilcott Enquiry....
 
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How very dare you!

My own bottom is intact Sir! Unlike my poor vessel, which appears to have been scuppered by Rear Admiral Ramage jnr!

I think he tried yours, but blunted his implement!

Anyway. Nice to have you aboard dahling XX
 
Yes, your boat is still where you left it.

Various people have tried to blackball No Regrets, but he keeps sidling up to the Commodes & Vice-Commodes and going "Psst Guv, do you want a cheap Merc?"

Mind you, you are not doing too badly. You must be the only club member to get a silver trophy for having the biggest organ!
 
boatone said:
Is my boat still where I left it? We may go and look next weekend but I am seriously beginning to question whether I want to belong to a club where another member sees fit to cast aspidistras on my extra curricula activities and at the same time publicly boasts of a 6" perfectly reamed hole in his bum ......... :-(

I am wondering why I have not yet been called to give evidence to the Chilcott Enquiry....
Click to expand...

Tony...was worried whether you had popped your clogs or had got a cheap month in Tenerifee for OAPs...??

Course you want to be a member of a club, just smarten yourself up a bit so that the Broom owners wont mind you coming alongside (shhh you know who i mean!)

Re: Chilcott, nah - those being called are a different type of "bent"

(Completely off topic, just browsed to www.comparethemeerkat.com.... Very entertaining)
 
apollo said:
.....just smarten yourself up a bit so that the Broom owners wont mind you coming alongside (shhh you know who i mean!)....
Click to expand...

Not sure I do, there seem to be so many of the b*gg*rs around these days ... is it one of the long handled variety or are you thinking more of the compact small dustpan accessories ?

Seemples ? Brilliant, why can't a few more advertising types show such originality?

Anyways, I'm off to bed, please note , Oldgit - 22:25 hours - guess you've been snoring for quite some while ....... oh, and please don't go telling tales out of school about the Great Henley Barrier Reef...I seem to remember you pulling me out with a dodgy line round my nether regions....perv! (PS - done any island bumping recently?)
 
boatone said:
Seemples ? Brilliant, why can't a few more advertising types show such originality?
Click to expand...

It's the client. If they have laid down guide lines then the Ad Agent is constrained and you get the regular dry old stuff. If the Ad Agent is left to his own devices and their Art Director dominates then you get artistic stuff with hidden meanings which leaves the public wondering "what the f*** was that all about" . If the Ad Agents Copy Writer(s) are the Team Leaders then you will get a hard hitting advert usually with a comic theme.
 
boatone said:
Not sure I do, there seem to be so many of the b*gg*rs around these days ... is it one of the long handled variety or are you thinking more of the compact small dustpan accessories ??)
Click to expand...

I was thinking of one with bristles full of fleas that irritates everyone that goes near it!!

....Or are you just being a tightwad cos the subs are due next month??
 
Not my fault

(PS - done any island bumping recently?)
May I just point out the complete absence of any "BEWARE OF THE ISLAND" notices attached anywhere to the item concerned.


I may sue somebody !
 
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