G
Guest
Guest
the correct escalation sequence for a broken thing on a new boat is as follows.
1. Sort of pat it a bit. and tap it. This doesn't make any difference. Go to section2 below .
2. Turn it off, then turn in on again. It works! Very strange. But then it's broken , a bit, as before.
3. Turn it on and off a lot. This works a bit, but not as well as the first time.
4. Go home, and return the following weekend, when it works again . But it goes wrong the next day when your wife/son/daughter looks at it. What have they done!! Nothing, honest, they say. Go potty. Then turn it on and off, and it works. Mutter at them, but don't apologise.
5 Repeat 1-4 above twice.
6. Root around for the owners manual. Find list of dealers, but not the manual.
7. Call the dealer, who is either out, or promises to look at it. On return the following weekend, it works! You call the dealer to thank him but he says that he's done nothing -the magical self-curing is is due to 4 above.
8. Call the dealer again, to meet him on the boat. This really ought to be sorted by now, for goodness sake. But when you meet, it works perfectly. Go through entire procedure, inclduing some sneaky harder taps to make it break. Realise this is a bit stupid. The next day, it's broken again. Wonder if it's your extra-hard thumping er tapping to blame.
9 Repeat 8. Find original manual.
10. Daren't call the dealer after 2 visits, proceed to next level. Lose manual.
11. Ring manufacturer for copy of manual. He says he'll fax it. But the fax doesn't arrive, and/or is entirely black. Get referred to website. Website says call dealer. Note that the model is now obsolete. Go bonkers with manufacturer. Get new manual in post, but for later model. Then find 2 copies of perfectly faxed manual fax at bottom of tray. Troubleshooting section advises you to call dealer "immediately" with the fault that you have got.
12. Casually ask on BB or around marina. Helpful people fix several other aspects of boat and nearly fix the actual problem, but not quite. Most knowledgeable person shakes head upon discovering that you have bought THAT particular model. He wouldn't have done that! Consider punching him. Later, invite others to boat for party, and win new friends, with the exception ( unfortunately) of the most knowledgeable and nearly-punched chap who has no friends and perfectly-working boat. Damn.
13. Getting a bit desperate, as one year warranty expiry approaches. Call local dealer and go a bit potty. Then apologise for going a bit potty. Dealer arrives, does something else to fix it, perhaps supplying new small component. Determines with great finality that that must have been the problem. Agree. All fine now. Whole thing back on the blink 1 month after 1 year has elapsed, just as bad.
14. Winge to dealer that it never really worked. Dealer protests that he visited three times, and supplied new component, and it always worked for him, and he didn't even supply it. His sideways glances and his weird questions about NMEA or suchlike confirm that you indeed don't quite know what you are talking about. For some reason, stay matey with dealer and say "Hi" at boat shows, but never buy things from him again.
15. Get chatting to helpful part-time fixy bloke, who suggests replacement of related item, such as complete new set of batteries, or generator service, or fusebox, or "sender" or fan unit or switch panel or radar arch unit or radome or sometghing else nearly as expensive as th ortiginal thing itself. Fixy man (who used to work for the dealer, bunch of rogues) then opens up the unit, tut-tuts at dealer engineers. It works! For almost the whole season. But then it's back on the blink. Can't complain to fixy man nor to dealer now.
16. Open the unit yourself, like the fixy man did. Make very sure not to lose the screws or any bits. Peer at internals. Dab with paper towel. Spray with WD40. Joggle the conections (if any) a bit. Replace cover. It works! But not for long, and then it's even worse.
17. Repeat 16 twice.
18. Teenage son/visitor offers help. You go through whole story, and advise sternly that they'll never ever fix it. Wife protests that you should lettem have a go. They fix it. Ask them what they did. They say "nothing, really". Bastards. Feel a twit in front of wife and nice friends. Later, it goes wrong. Now bitter and twisted, you are actually pleased that it is broken.
19. Whilst weather-bound, decide to have a real proper go. Dismantle unit. Lose screws and due to adverse weather conditions. Reassemble. Bodge lost bits. Smack the thing. Have several drinks, and in wild mad-eyed rage give it a good smack. It works! For nearly a day. Then dies for last time.
20. Your experience becomes known to others. You reluctantly give advice, but claim no expertise. However, they are still at level 12 and desperate. You go on their boats, dabbing and twiddling, often with some success. Their boats are nicer than yours. Make more friends.
21. Buy new boat. Insist on mad clause regarding offending article, insist on a different brand, and watch it with beady eyes. It never goes wrong, ever, but lots of other things do.
22. Avoid manufacturer of previous boat, even though you have a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't the boat's problem. Slag off component manufacturer anyway. Component manufacturer is bought by large conglomerate and wins "Product of the Year" prize for model next but one after yours.
23. Become a Slightly Tiresome Git, with "no faith" in many gizmos. Meanwhile new models have no moving parts. "Neither did ours, eventually!" you cry.
1. Sort of pat it a bit. and tap it. This doesn't make any difference. Go to section2 below .
2. Turn it off, then turn in on again. It works! Very strange. But then it's broken , a bit, as before.
3. Turn it on and off a lot. This works a bit, but not as well as the first time.
4. Go home, and return the following weekend, when it works again . But it goes wrong the next day when your wife/son/daughter looks at it. What have they done!! Nothing, honest, they say. Go potty. Then turn it on and off, and it works. Mutter at them, but don't apologise.
5 Repeat 1-4 above twice.
6. Root around for the owners manual. Find list of dealers, but not the manual.
7. Call the dealer, who is either out, or promises to look at it. On return the following weekend, it works! You call the dealer to thank him but he says that he's done nothing -the magical self-curing is is due to 4 above.
8. Call the dealer again, to meet him on the boat. This really ought to be sorted by now, for goodness sake. But when you meet, it works perfectly. Go through entire procedure, inclduing some sneaky harder taps to make it break. Realise this is a bit stupid. The next day, it's broken again. Wonder if it's your extra-hard thumping er tapping to blame.
9 Repeat 8. Find original manual.
10. Daren't call the dealer after 2 visits, proceed to next level. Lose manual.
11. Ring manufacturer for copy of manual. He says he'll fax it. But the fax doesn't arrive, and/or is entirely black. Get referred to website. Website says call dealer. Note that the model is now obsolete. Go bonkers with manufacturer. Get new manual in post, but for later model. Then find 2 copies of perfectly faxed manual fax at bottom of tray. Troubleshooting section advises you to call dealer "immediately" with the fault that you have got.
12. Casually ask on BB or around marina. Helpful people fix several other aspects of boat and nearly fix the actual problem, but not quite. Most knowledgeable person shakes head upon discovering that you have bought THAT particular model. He wouldn't have done that! Consider punching him. Later, invite others to boat for party, and win new friends, with the exception ( unfortunately) of the most knowledgeable and nearly-punched chap who has no friends and perfectly-working boat. Damn.
13. Getting a bit desperate, as one year warranty expiry approaches. Call local dealer and go a bit potty. Then apologise for going a bit potty. Dealer arrives, does something else to fix it, perhaps supplying new small component. Determines with great finality that that must have been the problem. Agree. All fine now. Whole thing back on the blink 1 month after 1 year has elapsed, just as bad.
14. Winge to dealer that it never really worked. Dealer protests that he visited three times, and supplied new component, and it always worked for him, and he didn't even supply it. His sideways glances and his weird questions about NMEA or suchlike confirm that you indeed don't quite know what you are talking about. For some reason, stay matey with dealer and say "Hi" at boat shows, but never buy things from him again.
15. Get chatting to helpful part-time fixy bloke, who suggests replacement of related item, such as complete new set of batteries, or generator service, or fusebox, or "sender" or fan unit or switch panel or radar arch unit or radome or sometghing else nearly as expensive as th ortiginal thing itself. Fixy man (who used to work for the dealer, bunch of rogues) then opens up the unit, tut-tuts at dealer engineers. It works! For almost the whole season. But then it's back on the blink. Can't complain to fixy man nor to dealer now.
16. Open the unit yourself, like the fixy man did. Make very sure not to lose the screws or any bits. Peer at internals. Dab with paper towel. Spray with WD40. Joggle the conections (if any) a bit. Replace cover. It works! But not for long, and then it's even worse.
17. Repeat 16 twice.
18. Teenage son/visitor offers help. You go through whole story, and advise sternly that they'll never ever fix it. Wife protests that you should lettem have a go. They fix it. Ask them what they did. They say "nothing, really". Bastards. Feel a twit in front of wife and nice friends. Later, it goes wrong. Now bitter and twisted, you are actually pleased that it is broken.
19. Whilst weather-bound, decide to have a real proper go. Dismantle unit. Lose screws and due to adverse weather conditions. Reassemble. Bodge lost bits. Smack the thing. Have several drinks, and in wild mad-eyed rage give it a good smack. It works! For nearly a day. Then dies for last time.
20. Your experience becomes known to others. You reluctantly give advice, but claim no expertise. However, they are still at level 12 and desperate. You go on their boats, dabbing and twiddling, often with some success. Their boats are nicer than yours. Make more friends.
21. Buy new boat. Insist on mad clause regarding offending article, insist on a different brand, and watch it with beady eyes. It never goes wrong, ever, but lots of other things do.
22. Avoid manufacturer of previous boat, even though you have a sneaking suspicion that it wasn't the boat's problem. Slag off component manufacturer anyway. Component manufacturer is bought by large conglomerate and wins "Product of the Year" prize for model next but one after yours.
23. Become a Slightly Tiresome Git, with "no faith" in many gizmos. Meanwhile new models have no moving parts. "Neither did ours, eventually!" you cry.
