Beaufort scale for coarse sailors

[Fourbees]

Discussion on wind instruments reminded me of the Coarse Sailor's Beaufort Scale in The Art of Coarse Sailing (by Michael Green). The sea and land observations by force went something like this:

F0 Boat moves sideways with tide/cigarette smoke gets in eyes
F1 Coarse yachtsmen hoist sail, then wind instantly drops/wet finger feels cold
F2 Tea towels blow off rigging/pubs close one window
F3 Coarse boats careen, difficult to make tea under way/pubs close two windows
F4 Gas keeps going out/beer froth blows off
F5 Coarse sailors get book on sailing from cabin and turn up bit on reefing/customers in pub gardens go inside bar
F6 Coarse sailors try to reef and go aground/elderly customers have difficulty leaving pub
F7 Coarse sailors rescued by launch/pub door cannot be opened against wind
F8 Aaargh!/pub sign blows down
F9 Coarse sailors in pub/sailors struck by falling pub sign

He didn't go beyond F9 for obvious reasons (no interest to coarse sailors except in TV programmes)

The book was written in 1962 but I think it's still relevant!

 

[MarkG]

Brings back some very happy memories, read that a few times years ago and still brings a smile...

 

[saltwater_gypsy]

The Old Candle Test

If the candle stays alight, too little wind for sailing.
If it blows out, too much wind for sailing.

 

[colingr]

Great book, now I'll have to go and find it for a re-read. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[BlueChip]

He also wrote the Art of Course Cruising, a tale of sailing exploits on the Norfolk Broads. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about some of the stories.

 

[jerryat]

[ QUOTE ]
He also wrote the Art of Course Cruising, a tale of sailing exploits on the Norfolk Broads. Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about some of the stories.

[/ QUOTE ]

YES!! The Art of Coarse Cruising is far the better of the two sailing ones!! Brilliant, and always aboard our boat! We've got the full set and some are, inevitably, better than others, but he's a superb observer of 'ordinary' life!

 

[vyv_cox]

Greatest chapter opener in modern literature - 'That night the cat died.'

I remember being in fits of laughter on the bus to work. Those were the days, I haven't been on a UK bus for more than 30 years.

 

[DownWest]

Our copy was much read and finally disintergrated on the way to Alderney in a F8 in ´63.
Don´t know about the other book but TAOCS was about the broads.
Andrew

 

[jerryat]

[ QUOTE ]
Our copy was much read and finally disintergrated on the way to Alderney in a F8 in ´63.
Don´t know about the other book but TAOCS was about the broads.
Andrew

[/ QUOTE ]

Whoops!! You're right! It's the Art of Coarse Sailing, not cruising that's the best one. Brilliant, especially the 'swimming near the sewer outlet on the Broads!! I can remember laughing long and loud when I first read that bit! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Classic!

 

[dunedin]

[ QUOTE ]
Greatest chapter opener in modern literature - 'That night the cat died.' /quote]

If I recall corectly, also the second best chapter opener - "Next morning I blew up the boat"

 

[oldharry]

Art of Coarse Sailing (agreed as the best one) was Norfolk Broads, Art of Coarse Cruising was IIRC the 'salt water' version, based on a rather elderly 20ft Alacrity, which I last saw at Emsworth yacht harbour 20+ years ago.

 

[maxi77]

The "art of Coarse Rugby" was also good, epecially as at the time I was playing for the schools equivalent of the 'extra B' team.

 

[charles_reed]

Another yotties wind advice

When seagulls are flying backwards, yotties should stay in harbour!

It has the advantage of a single item to memorise!!

 

[Tidewaiter2]

[ QUOTE ]
Brings tears to my eyes just thinking about some of the stories.

[/ QUOTE ]

That would be the frozen reed/ Arthur's rectum/ whiskey story you were thinking of then? Still got our copy (just), foxed, badgered and beared, held together with a rubber band.
Time for a reprint of both I think /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif