Another Boat Breathalysed...

[Guest]

Now Dave (You don't mind us calling you Dave, do you Dave?). That was quite a good audition. You've got quite a bit of stage presence but the funny hat and silly suit is a bit OTT. Perhaps you could try a dummy. You know the old 'Ello Archie, 'Ello Brough routine. Still goes down well in some Northern Clubs. Or, to add to the nautical flavour tou could always cut a leg off, fit a wooden one and try a stuffed parrot. You could then be bigtime. But for the moment Dave, I'd keep the day job if I were you in fact, don't call us we'll call you.

Next......

 

[Guest]

oooooh I don\'t know John, It made me chuckle......*

8***

 

[Guest]

Re: yes but.......

wouldnt the parrot thing be making reference to Linnets Mag.....

 

[Guest]

Re: oooooh I don\'t know John, It made me chuckle......*

Presumably with embarrassment!

 

[Guest]

An elderly mad woman called Marian owned a small yacht in a South Coast marina for the slightly insane. Mad Marian liked to zoom around the harbour, occasionally bumping into other boats. Nobody minded because she was usually very pleasant and it was only a bit of chipped gelcoat.

One day, Mad Marian was careering down between the pontoons when Weird NigeCh suddenly jumped out from behind a large cruiser.

"Where is your ICC"? He demanded. Mad Marian fished about in a locker then waved an old KitKat wrapper at Weird NigeCh, who seemed satisfied.

At the next pontoon out leapt Strange John Hyatt.

"I want to see evidence of insurance" he cried. Mad Marian muttered something then waved an old beer mat at him.

"Off you go then" he replied.

Mad Marian carried on in her small yacht, bumping off of a couple of other boats.

Just as she was returning to her berth, a naked Twisted von Thadden appeared holding an enormous erection in both hands.

" Oh no"! Wailed Mad Marian. " Not the Breathalyser again"!!

Ha Ha

Dave S