tcm
...
As you all may know, i have have been reviewing the issue of a possible forthcoming compulsory conversion of all stinkiepotters/powerboats to the more generally accepted european-wide norm of all being sailing boats. Here are the results of my review in the last six years, in accordancd with the Five Tests, namely
1. Are raggieboats better than stinkiepotter boats?
2. Is there convergence between ragboats and powerboats?
3. If there was only raggieboats, would more people go boating?
4. Investment: Would anyone buy a ragboat made by fairline, or sunseeker?
5. Is the government a bit, well, rubbish?
The results i have resolved are as follows:
1. SOMETIMES ragboats are quite good fun. But often, they aren't, Especially in harsh conditions of zero wind. Mind you, stinkieboats are rubbish with a load of wind, whereas raggies are excellent fun. But on balance this test has FAILED. Raggie boats aren't any better and would sink just as quickly. Also, they look a bit uncomfy lots of the time.
2. Convergence. Now, sometimes raggieboats nearly crash into stinkie boats, and vice versa. BUT they hardly every plonk along along at the same speed. So this test fails as well. Except that when I hd a go on jimi's boat it did double figures and probly would have done more if he'd let me turn on the engine to catch the bigger waves and surf downem for near-planing mad fun. So I rate this as a near PASS. Cos , if you wanted high speed fun yiou coiud lcarry a decent RIB anyway.
3. Attraction: This test has failed. Fewer people would go boating if only raggieboats existed. Cos they look a bit crap and oooer with all that string, and at Earls court they hardly have any masts anyway. Also, many powerboats look very waaah decent indeed, and with no poxy hard work winchy things, and top-class leather saloons, and kitchens and bedroom appointments, ahem, dearest.
4. Investment: This test has failed. Any sailboat made by top UK powerboat manufacturers would probably be far too comfy for a true raggie. Also the sails might be a bit too garish in stripy blue and white, and over-reliant on poppers or zippers or bits of fully-automated press-button sticky-on real teak-effect fake plastic high-gloss pretend wooden luxury optional items that might work, but might not. Separatley the standard-fit icemakers, aircon, working electric loos, decent showers and swim platforms would be seen as an unaffordable total waste by the Musto-encased ragger who always has the correct change for the taxiferry boat at Yarmouth, on the isle of Wight. Whereas proper stinkipotters have only a twenty, or a credit card, and the beardy taxi ferry blokes get all arsey.
5. The UK government has indeed failed on this. Not one member of them has ever even succesfully been abroad by any means of transport (apart from T Blair on that cringely awful bicycle photo opportunity 6 years ago) and still less on a boat. Most are caravanners, rubbish at French or even English, and certainly wouldn't shut up for long enough to show them how fenders work.
Put it this way, if Gordon Brown and Tony Blair AND your #1 crew (praps SWMBO) was on board, who would you prefer to send off to pay the harbourmaster and bring back the relevant weather forecast?
See?
Anyway, I will be reviewing the situation for signs of "progress", and may put the issue for a referendum later, or maybe not, perhaps.
This is most certainly not a prescription of "wait and see". I am delighted to have concluded my survey with a postive and determndely supportive move towards our raggie partners, whom we all see as part of our wider worldwide community. They are most certainly not a bunch of alien weird nutters, which would make me seem unable to take a broad worldwide internationailist view, although I reserve the divine right to restrain, resist and eventually bomb anyone who disagrees with my well-reasoned centralist and non-extreme arguments.
--ends----
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1. Are raggieboats better than stinkiepotter boats?
2. Is there convergence between ragboats and powerboats?
3. If there was only raggieboats, would more people go boating?
4. Investment: Would anyone buy a ragboat made by fairline, or sunseeker?
5. Is the government a bit, well, rubbish?
The results i have resolved are as follows:
1. SOMETIMES ragboats are quite good fun. But often, they aren't, Especially in harsh conditions of zero wind. Mind you, stinkieboats are rubbish with a load of wind, whereas raggies are excellent fun. But on balance this test has FAILED. Raggie boats aren't any better and would sink just as quickly. Also, they look a bit uncomfy lots of the time.
2. Convergence. Now, sometimes raggieboats nearly crash into stinkie boats, and vice versa. BUT they hardly every plonk along along at the same speed. So this test fails as well. Except that when I hd a go on jimi's boat it did double figures and probly would have done more if he'd let me turn on the engine to catch the bigger waves and surf downem for near-planing mad fun. So I rate this as a near PASS. Cos , if you wanted high speed fun yiou coiud lcarry a decent RIB anyway.
3. Attraction: This test has failed. Fewer people would go boating if only raggieboats existed. Cos they look a bit crap and oooer with all that string, and at Earls court they hardly have any masts anyway. Also, many powerboats look very waaah decent indeed, and with no poxy hard work winchy things, and top-class leather saloons, and kitchens and bedroom appointments, ahem, dearest.
4. Investment: This test has failed. Any sailboat made by top UK powerboat manufacturers would probably be far too comfy for a true raggie. Also the sails might be a bit too garish in stripy blue and white, and over-reliant on poppers or zippers or bits of fully-automated press-button sticky-on real teak-effect fake plastic high-gloss pretend wooden luxury optional items that might work, but might not. Separatley the standard-fit icemakers, aircon, working electric loos, decent showers and swim platforms would be seen as an unaffordable total waste by the Musto-encased ragger who always has the correct change for the taxiferry boat at Yarmouth, on the isle of Wight. Whereas proper stinkipotters have only a twenty, or a credit card, and the beardy taxi ferry blokes get all arsey.
5. The UK government has indeed failed on this. Not one member of them has ever even succesfully been abroad by any means of transport (apart from T Blair on that cringely awful bicycle photo opportunity 6 years ago) and still less on a boat. Most are caravanners, rubbish at French or even English, and certainly wouldn't shut up for long enough to show them how fenders work.
Put it this way, if Gordon Brown and Tony Blair AND your #1 crew (praps SWMBO) was on board, who would you prefer to send off to pay the harbourmaster and bring back the relevant weather forecast?
See?
Anyway, I will be reviewing the situation for signs of "progress", and may put the issue for a referendum later, or maybe not, perhaps.
This is most certainly not a prescription of "wait and see". I am delighted to have concluded my survey with a postive and determndely supportive move towards our raggie partners, whom we all see as part of our wider worldwide community. They are most certainly not a bunch of alien weird nutters, which would make me seem unable to take a broad worldwide internationailist view, although I reserve the divine right to restrain, resist and eventually bomb anyone who disagrees with my well-reasoned centralist and non-extreme arguments.
--ends----
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