Accounting & Sailing Concepts

jimi

jimi

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It would appear to me that there is a lot in common here, particularly the concepts of going concern, prudence, consistency, cost, materiality, money measurement, realisation and dual aspect. What do you think?


<hr width=100% size=1>.. when's that again, but ..
 
Great sailing scandals of our time

hm. Some sailors are expert in convincing others that all is well, when really - it isn't. And can it be a coincidence that "on Glen Rosa", a phrase you use a lot, is actually an anagram of "Enron O'Slag" - or is it derived from the nigerian branch: Enron Lagos , eek...

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If we get on the right TACK, we can balance the SHEETS and we'll have a CLEW as to what we are really STEERING towards.

Of course poor HANDLING of the STOCK will always cause grief and initiate putting in a REEF or two in the business plans.


<hr width=100% size=1>Nigel ...
Bilge Keelers get up further ! I came - cos they said was FREE Guinness !
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Re: True & fair view ...

hrmph ... taps gravel ... we 'ave examined the accounts of the Glen Rosa and, in our view, they represent a true and fair view of the situation since the last time we looked although close examination of the holding cpy was impossible on that occasion after several of the audit team became incapcitated and are still to recover from asphyxiation.

With help from some passing trade, the cpy survived difficult conditions in the latter part of the year although we recommend that the sleeping partner be dealt with. The sinking fund was severely depleted with assets knocked down due to market forces but, happily, i am able to report recovery is almost complete ....

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Re: True & fair view ...

You appear to be avoiding issues of gross domestic product - kindly comment.

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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Float it off ...

During the year there were seasonal fluctuations which led to a brief attempt by Tesco to capture passing trade. During this period the market potential of Bembridge ledge was exploited with almost disastous consequences when a hole in the market appeared. Undercapacity lead to underutilisation of talent as red flannel undergarments were half flown at mast head in a particular market segment in NW Scotland. Significant future opportunities are emerging as depreciation and wear and tear deplete existing fleets of manky auld boats. In all ..prospects are good for vendors of Gatsos and blue ties as the red sky of sunset waves goodbye to the new labour expedient .. er I mean experiment

<hr width=100% size=1>.. when's that again, but ..
 
Re: Float it off ...

... after repeated efforts in the latter part of the year to re-structure our cross-channel distribution system which suffered from unacceptable delays, the transport subsidiary was sold off to Ticket-Abuse Ferries Inc .......

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I don\'t understand this at all! nm

.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://hometown.aol.co.uk/geoffwestgarth/myhomepage/travelwriting.html>Click for website!</A>
 
Re: True & fair view ...

But surely, in your consultancy capacity and the retainer, presumably declared to HM Inspector of Taxes, you are qualified to comment?

<hr width=100% size=1>regards
Claymore
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Overseas adventures

We regret that efforts to establish a Cherbourg office were rendered unproductive which led a substantial knock-down of the company's French assets. Our tax dodgers promotional campaign ended in tatters, and our French management team emerged from the experience somewhat bruised, having caught a nasty cold. Nonetheless, your company has learnt valubale lessons from the experience and has not relinquished plans for a French venture, which will be carried out when the economic and climatic environment shows signs of an upturn.

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.writeforweb.com/twister1>Let's Twist Again</A>
 
Re: True & fair view ...

agreed, but the retainer didn't cover such eventualities as did manifest themselves in the fullness of time which is what, in reality, occurred when the deficate oops deficit was uncovered ...

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Numerous similarities:

spurious accuracy - my EP's are about as accurate as my balance sheet
incomprehensibility - old naval terms are as understandable as the tax laws
reliability - Enron accounts vs the weather forecast?
cost - my accountants charges vs MDL. MDL wins
usefullness - accountants advice vs my Seagull outboard
speed - time to produce accounts vs progress to windward in an F6
pleasure - reading my P&L vs a channel crossing in a December fog

the comparison breaks down as soon as you get one of those sails, a beam reach in a F4 in mid summer - that you have looked forward to all winter. there is no accounting equivalent of enjoying yourself. accountants dont do enjoyment. for that you need another long established profession. /forums/images/icons/blush.gif


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