A Lawyer's Seasonal Greeting

beancounter

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A Lawyer\'s Seasonal Greeting

LAWYERS SEASONAL GREETING
From us ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee")


Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all ...

... and a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:-

This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal

This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration
will be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.

This greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.

This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.

This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.

The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged.

This greeting is made under English Law.
 
Re: A Lawyer\'s Seasonal Greeting

Going down very well amongst some legal associates. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
 
Re: A Lawyer\'s Seasonal Greeting

This greeting is made under English Law.
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As allowed by Europe.
 
Re: A Lawyer\'s Seasonal Greeting

The invoice for this contractual greeting has been despatched under separate cover. Just to count as a second communication, and thus value added.
It is Company Policy to do this at the Festive Season, to avoid choking the client, and thus spoiling the family enjoyment of the expressed sentiments.
 
Re: A Lawyer\'s Seasonal Greeting

Good Morning Mr Dew (ten pounds)
Come In (ten pounds)
Please have a seat (ten pounds)
How are you today? (ten pounds)
Lovely weather (ten pounds)
Would you like a coffee?(ten pounds)
How is the boat? (ten pounds)
Now, I have some news, not all good I am afraid (twenty pounds)
The defendants solicitor has not yet replied (twenty pounds)
so I will give it a week, and then follow up (twenty pounds)
with another letter (one hundred and fifty pounds)
it may need to go to court (one thousand five hundred pounds0
and of course we will need a Barrister (two thousand pounds)
etc etc.... ad infinitum or limitus overdrafticus.

This has cheered me up actually, as the fees that I charge seem very reasonable in comparison, so I am not Rooking esteemed and valued Client. In fact i am good value.
 
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