101 useless boaty Xmas gifts

[Colin_S]

It's getting near that time of year when loved ones start asking what you want for Xmas. We probably all know what we do want but how about a list of useless items we don't want.

Here's a couple to get you going.

Stainless steel and water proof spirit level - ideal for fitting shelves whilst at sea.

Solar powered electric blanket.

Only 99 more needed.

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[powerskipper]

magnetic notice board,

sea breeze incense sticks,

latest fashion hair accessories

<hr width=100% size=1><A target="_blank" HREF=http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/>http://powerskipper.mysite.freeserve.com/</A>
Julie

 

[jimi]

Anything from Nauticalia

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[jac]

Magnetic compass light.

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[Shakey]

'Fun size' pool/snooker table

<hr width=100% size=1>It could have been worse - it could have been me.

 

[snowleopard]

crockery and glassware with nautical motifs, just in case you forget you're on a boat.

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[capt_courageous]

There are always the pig, the wheelbarrow and the naval officer.

<hr width=100% size=1><P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1>Edited by capt_courageous on 08/11/2004 08:38 (server time).</FONT></P>

 

[Forbsie]

150N Auto-inflating Life-Wellies

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[Andrew_Fanner]

Pinball table (as _very_ briefly fitted to a B+I ferry 20 odd years ago)

<hr width=100% size=1>Two beers please, my friend is paying.

 

[Wiggo]

Sea Searcher magnets, roll-flat water hoses?

<hr width=100% size=1>Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

 

[Evadne]

Oil lamp with a 240V light bulb fitted.
Solar powered Nav. lights.
(after this summer in the UK) a bumper carton of sun tan lotion.
Lightweight plastic radar reflector


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[piscosour]

enamel mugs with bits of lip still attached

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[Clive_Rigden]

A set of "Globetrotter" suitcases.

Seriously, I once had an inexperienced crew turn up on the pontoon with two hard square Globetrotters and dressed in tweed jacket, bow tie and brogues . . .

After 24 hours another crewmember described him as about as much use on a boat as a nun on the foredeck in a gale !

<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[masterofnone]

A copy of colregs for our mobo friends,
a brain for pwc users.

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[Clive_Rigden]

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.sailboatowners.com/boats/photo.tpl?wc=26X&site=MacGregor&pno=3053427416240761&brand=MacGregor&display=26X&fno=80>http://www.sailboatowners.com/boats/photo.tpl?wc=26X&site=MacGregor&pno=3053427416240761&brand=MacGregor&display=26X&fno=80</A>

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<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[Plan_B]

An umbrella for SWMBO - yes she does use one to keep her hair dry but the wind keeps turning in inside out and busting it!! Costs a fortune in new ones !!

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[Clive_Rigden]

How about these jolly gifts you can buy for the love of your life; yes - your new McSporran . . .

"7,712 rare and wonderful accessories for your MacGregor"

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://shop.macgregorowners.com/>http://shop.macgregorowners.com/</A>

Sad innit ?

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<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[jhr]

I note that there are no life rafts or other pieces of emergency equipment on sale from this excellent website. I guess this must be because you're never going to need them on such a seaworthy craft?

I think you're just jealous because you're having to make do with a boring old Holman and Pye design. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho

 

[Clive_Rigden]

Got it one !

The MacGroggy is the epitome of the democratic craft, a truly wonderful product inspired by the freedom-loving peoples of America. Who needs emergency equiment when sailing under the canopy of the Star Spangled Banner? Which other vessel could be so ideally sited to cruising on the Euphratese?

Hlman & Pye designs smack of the backwards looking, class-ridden individuality so redolant of Old europe . . .

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<hr width=100% size=1>Khyber

 

[jhr]

Yee hah, mah fellow Americans!

But please note that it's Yurp, not Europe. /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif

<hr width=100% size=1>Je suis Marxiste - tendance Groucho