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The Grudge : Rules

tcm

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1. The Grudge is not a race, cos our insurance won't allow it.

2. Some of us will start from the transit line of the entrance to newtown creek at 3pm on the saturday, and go to erm somehwere off calshot i think towards Mercury perhaps the chimney in line with the dolphin at calshot, under sail, and quite quickly. I bet i will sail quicker than some others. Well, the race prepared 25 foot bilge keeler for starters, surely, that's just got to be a windup?

3. Other sailyboats can join in The Grudge. It's best if you have some axe to grind about other participants which normally would be a bit unsporting but in The Grudge is more realistically accepted as an intrinsic if not the main reasoning behind the event.

4. Ianainge will give 15 minute warning (yeah, at 2:45) on agreed channel wotever seems to work, 5 minutes and erm 1 minute i think. Oh and the "go" bit as well, perhaps with an air horn or revving his engine to make a pile of smoke and then coughing a lot.

5. The idea is to do the trip with sails and string, not engines really. But in addition to the main Sailing class there could be a "mixed" class to include the more gutless motorboats with large canvas bimini covers and also cheaty/no-hoper sailing boats who were miles behind but just want to zoom up a bit to just behind that boat over there and make it look a bit respectable or have another crack at the leading bunch again which is fair enough i suppose.

6. Even if he doesn't realise it jimi is in this already, rudder or no rudder. But he might change the finish line if the calshot and chimney option is rubbish. However, he has to tell us beforehand on this thread.

7. The judges include iainainge and the delectable Pauline. There'll be no carping whatsoever and the judges decision is final. Yeah, right.


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BrendanS

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I've got a gutless motorboat with large canvas bimini cover - I'll put the bimini up specially. Can I participate?

<hr width=100% size=1>Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
 

tcm

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I think you are fibbing about your boat being gutless. So, having now established a bit of animosity between us, you're in.

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BrendanS

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Oh goodie! I'll just go check if the engineer has fitted the nitrous oxide injector yet!

<hr width=100% size=1>Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
 

bigmart

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I think you've got it wrong again Brendan. You've got a Big Gut, You're romoured to be Bi & you've got a bit of Canvass to cover that 9 inch transparent bit in youre outfit you were bragging about. Now be a good boy or I will have to tell Matron about you again.

Martin

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bigmart

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Oy you. Its a 26 foot Bilge Keeler & when I get her up on plane she's a racing Cat. So less of your lip & be prepared to eat your words!

Martin

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BrendanS

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All of the above are true. Don't bother sending Matron, that young nurse that works for her will do just fine

<hr width=100% size=1>Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
 

ianainge

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Can I have a list of which boats are racing in which class, are we having different start times, whats the prize?

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tcm

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race participants: print a list of mercury attendees and see who turns up outisde netwtown creek just befor 3ish. You may be able to raise them on vhf. Of they miter even contribute to the thread?

note that some boats might start off sailing but then do a bit of engine hence join the mixed class.

Nope, just one start time, jimi can't possibly manage two start times and last time failed to meet the start time he decided.

Prize: bragging rights.

Note that it's actually much better for the losers in The Grudge who will have the benfit of animated conversation for yonks, badmouthing the others, making excuses, explaining why they lost, who cheated and so on. Whereas the winners may feel that they have to be nice to everyone and not mention it too much. Of course, I won't feel at all bound by such niceties, and will be in quite a bad mood even if we win, cos we probably should have won by a bigger margin, or perhaps if we win by miles then the others weren't trying hard enough, which would also spoil it. This is all entirely in keeping with the true spirit of The Grudge, a tradition that i am pretty sure runs through all sports and competitve activities at every level but never celebrated - until now.

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jimi

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QSIV has kindly lent me his boat as he wishes to practice rudderless sailing skils and we've arranged a boat swap that weekend. However I do want a favourable handicap as I'll be a bit unfamiliar with the boat and its deep draught ..

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tcm

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Excellent. In the true spirit of the Grudge, jimi has already got my back up. But, there's no handicapping unless you get a really massive boat, so i have got a *slightly* bigger boat than jimi which of course is pretty much the same as his.

Ooh heck, i have just remebered he has got a massive crusing chute! Bugger bugger bugger. Hopefully it will be an easterly so he'll be knackered. I thinnk he could get a massive advantage from the crusing chute - especially if he dumps it in the back of the car before leaving Hythe to save weight cos it was rubbish at making his boat go faster...



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BrendanS

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As this is a grudge match, I presume there are no rules about small fast boats running interference on the racers. You know sort of thing, dash ahead. stop and block, throw a bit of anchor chain over bow to avoid col reg issues. After racer has had to tack past obstacle, obstacle immediately ups and does it all over again!

or if not much wind on day, repeated heavy wash to slow em down!

Bribes and back handers now being accepted

<hr width=100% size=1>Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
 

tcm

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Yep, no problem at all.

Though note that the red mist will be swirling and ESPECIALLY note that ours is a rental boat and instead of the massive £1000 damage deposit i have paid 80 quid extra for the special "It's fine if you crash" collision damage excess waiver waiver.

Otherwsie, i plan do take a short course in minesweeping and sling up the appropriate day marks which will win me 1000 yards advantage from the start.

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Neraida

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Who else is playing your grudge game/race thing?

Claire

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bigmart

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On the same basis I presume there will be no rules against my smashing my anchor through your transom, oops by mistake of course. Shame my insurance isn't paid up. Never mind its only a scratch. A bit of polish & no one will notice.

Martin

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BrendanS

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There are so many scratches on my boat now, that I'd never be able to tell which one was caused by your anchor. Very kind of you to donate it by the way, I needed a larger one for when I go to the Scillies! What sort and what weight??

<hr width=100% size=1>Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabris, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam.
 

tcm

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so far the entrants are jimi and bigmart, or is it bigmick? anyway somebody quite big. plus brendan making even more trouble than we will make ourselves, spect if brendan had a helicopter he wd use that for crissakes.

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jimi

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TCM, I am saddened that the quality of the opposition has caused you to withdraw .. I would'nt worry about BigMart, he's just got a wee yin.

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