I totally agree. The thing that worries me most is local racing. Late in the season its dark and I don't like to think about what would happen if someone went ob and their lifejacket didn't inflate!The people who drone on and on about rudders and keels are best ignored. They argue about how much safer it is to have encapsulated keels and rudders with skegs .... but the majority of them are more than happy to trust their lives to other modern works of the devil like inflatable life-jackets - and the vast majority of boating deaths result from ending up in the water when you didn't intend to, rather than your keel or rudder falling off.
Obviously a self inflating life-jacket can fail - it can puncture or fail to go off - or it can also go off when you don't expect it to and trap you - far safer to have a solid life-jacket made of foam or cork - that won't puncture or fail to inflate - but how many old-salts do you see sporting solid cork life-jackets to go with their boat designs from yesteryear?
The crew will give up long before a modern boat will - so don't worry.
Try not to fixate on one disaster scenario at the expense of the many, many more likely ones - going to sea is a lottery and if you worry about every remote eventuality, you'll never leave port - probably because you'll spend all your time and energy fixing up an old design and worrying, rather than getting out there sailing.
Buy the boat that suits the lifestyle you intend to live on her - one that speaks to you, and ticks all the boxes for the things that are important to you and your crew. If that turns out to be a long-keeled older design, then fine, if it's an AWB, that's fine too - both will do what you want and don't let anyone tell you any differently.
Also the lifestyle point is important. I want my partner to come with me. And the kids to visit with any partners/friends.